Ladies and gentlemen, gather ‘round! MetaMask has unleashed its Mastercard-powered crypto debit card across the United States, letting you spend your crypto like it’s regular money-but with 100% more flair! The card now works in 49 states, including New York, which finally caught up to the 21st century. Huzzah!
In a recent X post, Step Finance declared they’re “winding down operations,” which is just crypto-speak for “we’re done here, thanks for the memories.” Their sister platforms are joining the party, too. The hack? A disaster so profound it makes you wonder if someone left their wallet open in a public restroom. The company says they tried everything: loans, acquisitions, maybe even a séance. Nothing worked. Now they’re offering a buyback for STEP holders, which is generous… if you don’t mind the token being worth less than a loaf of sourdough bread.
The tides of trade swell, and the derivatives, those sly tricksters, whisper of a new dawn. Yet, the question lingers: will this flicker of hope endure, or shall it vanish like a dream at sunrise? The masses, ever fickle, now turn their gaze toward the stars, while the giants hoard their coins, as if preparing for a war none dare speak of.
Enter Broox Bauer, a New York-based senior business development whiz who apparently found his true calling not in expanding markets, but in expanding his wallet. According to ZachXBT’s investigation, Bauer and his merry band of data-dippers were using internal tools like a kid with a flashlight in a dark room-except instead of hiding from monsters, they were hiding from regulators.
Bitcoin lurched below the $67,000 mark, dropping more than 4% after flirting with $70,000 late on Wednesday. Ether and Solana followed suit, showing similar downward heartbeats.
Now, it’s not just a player in the game; it’s leading the charge with a staggering $27.4 billion locked in value-think of it as the safe deposit box for the crypto age-and pulling in $83 million in fees. You know, just pocket change for those involved. Meanwhile, its Horizon platform is seducing institutions, offering them the comfort of tokenized U.S. Treasurys as collateral. Nothing screams “stable” like the U.S. Treasury, right? So, there you go, a match made in blockchain heaven.
His viral post, shrouded in tantalizing mystery like a Dostoevskian riddle, ignited more than $2 million in wagers on Polymarket, as intrepid speculators sought to divine which company would be unmasked. Axiom was graced with a mere 13% chance, and lo! Those who placed their bets reaped significant profits, proving once again that fortune favors the bold-or perhaps the foolish!
Behind the tragic price decline, the ever-diligent beavers of infrastructure development and the gradual, but undeniable, institutional love affair with the network could serve as the prime ingredients for a stunningly unexpected recovery.
ZachXBT posted the thread at 8:41 a.m. EST, naming Broox Bauer, a senior business development employee at Axiom based in New York. According to ZachXBT, Bauer and others allegedly exploited the company’s insufficient access controls to snoop on sensitive wallet information since early 2025. One might wonder why Axiom didn’t secure their internal dashboards with the same care as a dragon’s hoard.
Park shudders at the thought of Jane Street being held responsible for everything from Bitcoin’s price fluctuations to the tide’s movements. He says the real culprit lies in a feature of the ETF system-one that gives authorized participants (APs) far too much flexibility in how they hedge and settle trades. With a cast of characters that includes Jane Street, JPMorgan, Citadel, and others, the question is more about the plumbing of the system than any single shady operator.
