Ostriches of the blockchain, with their beady eyes glued to the market’s fluctuating sea, Samson Mow, that audacious maestro of JAN3, has deduced: it is the freshly hatched investors, their feathers still damp from purchases made in the last 12-18 months, who are now squawking in panic over modest profits (20%-30%-a miraculous return, one imagines!). These modern-day flocks, spurred by headlines crooning of a cycle’s peak, have plunged into the sell-off’s abyss like starlings fleeing a Hitchcockian nightmare.
Yet this is no solo act. The OGs, those crypto elder gremlins hiding in on-chain caves, have also been squirting coins out like a malfunctioning Bitcoin espresso machine. And thus, the recent buyers, now trembling with FOMO, sprint toward exits like rodents fleeing a sinking ship. 💄
A°P°D°O°P-Wait, 2026?
As if 2025’s crypto performance wasn’t lackluster enough (imagine being paid in Bitcoin just to dip into the market!), bulls now pin their hopes on 2026. Mow, echoing Cardano’s beloved wizard Charles Hoskinson, predicts a grand celestial alignment for crypto-though one couldn’t help but wonder if JPMorgan’s $170k BTC prophecy is just a rogue algorithm drafting poetry. 🧜♂️
Meanwhile, the market giggles, sipping chamomile, as wallets burn and hopes dangle on a calendar page.
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2025-11-11 09:43