Do Kwon: From Crypto King to Forgery Fugitive πŸš€πŸ’Έ

Well, butter my biscuit and call me disappointed-Do Kwon, the crypto wunderkind turned international man of mystery, might finally be ready to throw in the towel. πŸ₯Šβœ¨ According to a Bloomberg report, our favorite algorithmic stablecoin architect could plead guilty to fraud for his role in the $40 billion collapse of TerraUSD (UST). Because nothing says “I’m sorry” like a multi-billion-dollar oopsie. 😬

Judge Paul Engelmayer, presumably tired of Kwon’s shenanigans, has asked him to prepare a heartfelt explanation of how he violated the law-you know, just in case he decides to go the guilty route. 🎭 Meanwhile, Kwon’s been living his best life, jet-setting with a forged passport until he was nabbed in Montenegro in 2023. Because who needs a valid passport when you’ve got $40 billion in losses to distract everyone? ✈️🀑

After a two-year extradition drama that rivaled a bad soap opera, Kwon finally landed in the U.S., where he initially pleaded “not guilty” in January. But hey, even the best cons eventually run out of steam. 🧨 In 2024, a New York jury found him and Terraform Labs liable for lying about a Korean payments platform using their blockchain. Shocking, I know-a crypto bro stretching the truth? Never! 😱

Turns out, investors were also misled about the stability of UST, which was supposed to be as steady as a yoga instructor but ended up more like a drunk toddler on a balance beam. πŸ§˜β™€οΈπŸ’₯ The mechanism went haywire, inflating assets like a Thanksgiving turkey, and causing prices to plummet faster than my self-esteem after reading a bad review. πŸ¦ƒπŸ“‰

To settle with the SEC, Kwon and his crew coughed up $4.47 billion-pocket change, really. πŸ’° His trial is set for January 28, 2026, and is expected to last 1-2 months, which is just enough time for him to perfect his prison yard stand-up routine. 🎀 Meanwhile, the DOJ has reminded us that if convicted, Kwon could face 130 years behind bars. So, you know, plenty of time to write that memoir: *β€œHow I Lost $40 Billion and Found Myself (in Prison).”* πŸ“šπŸ”’

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2025-08-13 22:50