In what might be the most flamboyant plot twist since a soap opera, Tokyo’s own Convano Inc., once celebrated for the delicate art of nail beautification, has decided to abandon cuticle care for the tantalizing allure of digital gold. Yes, you read that correctly-nail salons are now eyeing Bitcoin like a cat eyeing a laser pointer that costs $3 billion. 💅💸
Convano, which traditionally painted nails with precision and floral motifs, is now scheming to hoard roughly 21,000 Bitcoin-about 0.1% of the entire digital currency universe-by 2027. Apparently, the yen is about as stable as a soap bubble, and the company thinks hoarding cryptocurrency might save its skin (and perhaps make a tidy profit while at it). 🧾💣
They plan to gobble up 2,000 BTC by 2025, then double that to 10,000 by summer 2026, and finally, once the stars-er, regulators-align, amass a whopping 21,000 BTC. This is reminiscent of a misguided treasure hunt, only instead of a map, they follow the declining Bitcoin price, turning losses into strategic “opportunities” – or perhaps just channeling the spirit of “anything for money.” 💰🤷♂️
Bitcoin is in a bit of a recalibration phase, but that’s just the universe’s way of giving Convano a golden ticket to its ‘21,000 BTC’ fantasy. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s a last-ditch attempt at turning nail polish into digital currency-who knows? The situation, much like their stock price, is amusingly volatile.
– Yuki Kawaguchi, Convano’s financial prophet (@dimensional_yk) August 29, 2025
Amidst mounting global chaos and plummeting yen, companies are scrambling to cling onto crypto, and Convano, the unlikely hero or perhaps comic relief, is jumping into the fray. Their ace? Turning yen into stablecoins and dreaming of becoming a stablecoin emperor by 2027. Ah, the joys of trying to make fortunes in the chaos! 🏦🔮
As of last week, they had only managed to gather a tiny drop of their ocean-just 2% of the fund and 365 BTC, which might explain the gloomy close on the Tokyo exchange, as if even the stock market has given up on the surreal spectacle of a nail salon turned crypto tycoon. 📉🤣
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2025-08-30 13:57