When Tokens Go *Kaboom*: The Untold Saga of Kinto’s Collapse 🎭

Ah, the world of crypto-a place where fortunes are made, dreams are shattered, and tokens occasionally just decide to take an early retirement. Kinto (K) has now joined this grand tradition, announcing its shutdown after a series of misfortunes that would make even a Greek tragedy writer nod in sympathy.

The news sent the K token plummeting faster than a wizard who’s just been told his beard is “so last season.” That’s an 85% nosedive in 24 hours, folks. If that doesn’t scream “financial drama,” I don’t know what does. 📉

1/ Kinto is shutting down.

After exhausting every path to keep going, we’re conducting orderly wind-down to protect users and community.

– Users can normally withdraw assets
– Phoenix lenders receive ~76%
– Morpho Victims can claim up to $1.1k each

Read full details

– Kinto (@KintoXYZ) September 7, 2025

So, here’s the deal: you’ve got until September 30 to grab your assets before they vanish like a plate of free sausages at a dwarven banquet. Phoenix lenders will get about 76% of their principal back, which is… better than nothing? And if you were one of the unlucky Morpho victims from the July exploit, there’s a goodwill fund set up by the founder offering up to $1,100 per person. Generous? Maybe. But let’s not kid ourselves-it’s also damage control. 😅

“It’s time to accept reality. I pursued this venture to the best of my ability, but didn’t achieve a successful outcome. The CPIMP exploit was a black swan, yet I am contributing over $130,000 to offer relief to affected users,” stated Kinto founder Ramon Recuero.

Now, here’s the kicker: despite all the chaos, Kinto claims its core systems weren’t hacked. Nope, it was something called the “CPIMP proxy exploit” that siphoned off 577 ETH. Apparently, this forced them to raise debt like someone trying to buy drinks for everyone at a pub on payday Friday. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work out well. 🐑‍⬛

Market conditions threw another spanner into the works, making further fundraising as likely as convincing a vampire to host a sunrise yoga session. Add to that the fact that the team hasn’t been paid since July, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for disaster-or as we call it in the crypto world, “business as usual.”

What To Do When Your Crypto Project Crumbles Faster Than a Biscuit in Tea 🥖

Some users aren’t happy, accusing Kinto of cashing out and running away. But the project insists no tokens have been unlocked-not by the team, not by investors. They’re basically saying, “Look, we may be broke, but we’re not crooks!” Which is either noble or suspiciously convenient, depending on how cynical you’re feeling today. 🤔

If you’re struggling to withdraw your assets, Kinto suggests creating a help ticket in Discord. Because nothing says “customer service” like asking people to beg for their own money back in a chatroom. Classy move, team. 👏

“Create a help ticket in Discord if you ned help withdrawing,” Kinto noted.

Meanwhile, security researchers are playing detective with the stolen 577 ETH, hoping to recover some of it for the victims. A perpetual claim contract is also in the works for October, because apparently, even winding down requires paperwork. Who knew? 📋

Kinto is consolidating around $800,000 into a Foundation SAFE, allegedly to repay creditors and victims. Oh, and don’t worry-the pending ERA crypto airdrop is still happening in October. Because why let a little thing like bankruptcy stop you from handing out freebies?

In conclusion, while Kinto insists it’s bowing out gracefully, this whole debacle serves as a reminder that DeFi projects can be as stable as a jellyfish on roller skates. So next time someone tells you about the latest shiny token, remember: it might just *K*ollapse without warning. 🚀💸

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2025-09-08 02:08