El Salvador & Bitcoin: Oy Vey!

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So, It’s Still Going? 🤪

Four years ago, El Salvador decided Bitcoin was the answer to all their problems. Big mistake? Huge? Well, they still have $700 million worth of the stuff… so it’s not a TOTAL disaster. Yet.

Four years! Can you believe it? El Salvador is still fiddling with this Bitcoin [BTC] thing. It’s like a Borscht Belt routine, only with cryptocurrency. They’re celebrating, but quietly. Very quietly. Like they’re expecting the entire thing to unravel any minute.

They’re hanging onto a $700 million pile of BTC, which is… a lot of schmeckles. But the grand plans – reshaping global finance, becoming the crypto capital of the world – those have shrunk faster than my Aunt Millie’s patience.

The International Monetary Fund (IMF), those no-funniks, have been breathing down El Salvador’s neck, forcing them to tone it down. It’s a mix of “maybe this could work” and “uh oh, what have we done?” 🤔. Can a whole country *really* run on digital funny money? Stay tuned!

Bitcoin Day? More Like “Please Don’t Notice We’re Panicking” Day 🙄

The Bitcoin Office, bless their hearts, announced on X (formerly Twitter, because nothing lasts forever, right?) that they’ve got 6,313 BTC. That’s over $700 million! A fortune! Enough to buy a lot of knishes.

And they launched a new law to let “sophisticated” investors play with Bitcoin. Sophisticated! As if anyone really understands this stuff. It’s all a hustle, I tell ya, a hustle!

Apparently, 80,000 public servants have been “certified” in Bitcoin. Certified! What does that even MEAN? They can tell you what a blockchain is? Big whoop. They’re also launching BTC banks and combining Bitcoin with… AI? Oy gevalt! What’s next, Bitcoin-powered gefilte fish? 🐟

But all this hoopla is happening while they’re quietly backing off some of their bolder ideas, all because of the IMF. It’s like planning a bar mitzvah while your mother-in-law is watching.

The IMF Says “Nu?” and El Salvador Caves 😩

As part of their deal with the IMF (aka The Fun Police), El Salvador repealed the law making Bitcoin legal tender. They also promised not to buy any more BTC with public funds. Can you imagine? A country *promising* not to spend money on something? Unheard of!

And they had to scale back support for the Chivo wallet, which, let’s be honest, wasn’t exactly flying off the shelves. It was a flop, a bigger flop than my cousin Morty’s attempt to become a magician.

The IMF says El Salvador hasn’t bought any Bitcoin since December 2024. Officials insist the $700 million pile is still there. Still there… for now.

Bitcoin fanatics and do-gooder NGOs are crying foul, saying this benefits the government while leaving the little people out in the cold. And you know what? They’re probably right! It’s always the little people…

Four Years Later, It’s Still… Something 🤷

Since 2021, El Salvador’s Bitcoin odyssey has been… evolving. Cautiously. Slowly. Like a snail in molasses. They built that $700 million reserve, passed some fancy laws, and trained a whole bunch of people.

They went from being a country nobody noticed to a “Bitcoin pioneer.” Which is a nice way of saying “country that took a really big gamble.” And the IMF is still there, waving its finger and saying, “No, no, no!”

Four years on, El Salvador’s Bitcoin story is still unfolding. A global test case. A cautionary tale. A comedy of errors? Only time will tell. And believe me, time is a ruthless comedian.

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2025-09-08 12:23