My dear readers, gather ’round, for a tale as old as time itself-or at least as old as Bitcoin. In the hallowed halls of Washington, D.C., the inimitable Jonathan Gould, head of the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency (OCC), has taken it upon himself to play Cupid between traditional banks and the crypto industry. 🏦💘🪙
With a flourish of his regulatory quill, Gould declared war on the “two-tiered system” that has, quite frankly, been giving crypto the cold shoulder. “Stigma, darling?” he quipped. “How utterly passé!” 🕶️✨
OCC: Crypto’s New BFF? 🤝
Gould, ever the diplomat, assured us that the OCC is ready to waltz hand-in-hand with banks eager to dip their toes into the crypto pool. “We’re stepping back, darling, to step forward-much more closely, of course,” he purred. 🕺💃
Safety and soundness, he insists, are the name of the game. “Regulators, my dears, are not here to be party poopers,” he declared. “We’re simply ensuring the champagne doesn’t go flat.” 🥂🚫
This newfound affection coincides with a rather Trumpian vision of America as the “crypto capital of the planet.” 🌎🤑 Yes, you heard that right-the same Trump who once tweeted about crypto with the enthusiasm of a man who’d just discovered a new golf course. ⛳️😏
Since taking office, the administration has been busy-executive orders, stablecoin regulations, and even a digital asset stockpile. It’s all very 21st century, darling. 🚀📜
Even the SEC, once crypto’s arch-nemesis, has decided to play nice. Enforcement cases? Dropped faster than a bad habit. “Renewed confidence,” they call it. We call it a plot twist. 📉➡️📈
Debanking? Not on Gould’s Watch! 🚫🏦
Bloomberg, those intrepid reporters, tell us the OCC is also tackling the dreaded “debanking”-a practice as charming as a tax audit. 🕵️♂️💼 Gould, ever the champion of fairness, is having none of it. “Politically sensitive clients? Darling, we’re all sensitive here,” he quipped. 😢🙄
Critics, of course, have their say. “Widespread debanking? Nonsense!” they cry. But Gould remains undeterred. “Infrastructure, my dears, is key. You can’t build a crypto empire on a shaky foundation,” he advised. 🏗️🔧
Innovation, he insists, need not be the enemy of safety. “I don’t see them as inconsistent, darling. It’s like saying champagne and caviar can’t coexist. Absurd!” 🥂🍾
And so, as the regulatory winds shift, traditional finance firms are tiptoeing into the digital asset sector. A new era, perhaps? Or just another chapter in the grand farce of finance. 🎭💸
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2025-09-11 11:15