Shocking Crypto Follies: Capitalism, Memes, and Unexpected Twists Await!

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Ah, this week has unveiled yet again the glorious entanglement of politics, filthy lucre, and our beloved digital coins. Can you fathom the delight?

Missed out on the raucous circus? Fret not, dear reader! We’ve neatly packaged the highlights you must not overlook.

#1 Creators Cash In on Tragedy With Charlie Kirk-Themed Coins

it seems more likely that DOGE and XRP products will see their debut next week and not today. Intriguing, isn’t it? Different from the Solana product ( $SSK) I regaled in that thread structured as a C-corp. These will be structured as…

– James Seyffart (@JSeyff) September 11, 2025

#5 Hyperliquid’s Stablecoin Vote Turns Into Power Struggle

Hyperliquid’s very first stablecoin vote has erupted into a spectacle, akin to gladiators clashing in the Colosseum, with Paxos, Frax, Sky, Agora, Curve, OpenEden, and Bitgo jockeying for the precious USDH. Meanwhile, Ethena has pulled out and endorsed the fresh-faced Native Markets-a delightful soap opera unfolding! 😅

The stakes are sky-high: control billions in stablecoin flows. For a streamlined 11-person team that processed $330B in July, the outcome could very well redefine Hyperliquid’s next grand chapter.

#6 Glassnode: BTC, ETH, and SOL Could Break Records Within Weeks

The customary September slump may be hitting the brakes. Glassnode’s cofounders audaciously proclaim that Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Solana could strike fresh all-time highs within weeks. And their warning is hilariously blunt: “This is not the time to step in front of the freight train.” 🚂 Can it get any better?

This is the last chance for September doomers to reposition. Don’t stand in front of the freight train. $btc $eth $sol ATH in the next 3-4 weeks.

– 𝗡𝗲𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗶𝗰 (@Negentropic_) September 12, 2025

With BTC bouncing at $116K, ETH at $4,720, and SOL at $242, the momentum is like a well-oiled machine. Rate-cut hopes, institutional inflows, and corporate treasury buys are setting the stage for a historical breakout. What a time to be alive!

#7 3AC Drags SBF Back Into Court Over $1.5B Liquidation

Ah, the specter of crypto’s largest catastrophes looms ominously. Three Arrows Capital has set its sights on Sam Bankman-Fried and former FTX executives, claiming FTX forced a colossal $1.5 billion liquidation that drove 3AC to the brink in 2022. Bankman-Fried, now behind bars in California, is scheduled to testify on October 14, 2025. 🕵️‍♂️

FTX’s estate, however, denies the claim, insisting only $82 million was liquidated. With billions still outstanding to creditors, this new showdown between fallen titans could dictate how crypto bankruptcies are addressed in the future. Get your popcorn ready!

#8 Arkham Ranks the World’s Top Holders

Arkham Intelligence has unveiled its 2025 ranking of the world’s top crypto holders, a testament to how exquisitely concentrated the market is. The top entities collectively command a staggering $1.6 trillion in digital assets. How quaint! 😂

Binance leads the pack with over $209 billion, followed closely by Coinbase at $155 billion, while Satoshi Nakamoto’s mysterious trove hovers at $125 billion. BlackRock, Fidelity, Grayscale, and MicroStrategy are also on the list, exemplifying crypto’s global influence and increasingly robust institutional clout.

#9 BlackRock Explores Tokenized ETFs After Bitcoin Fund Success

In a rather curious turn of events, BlackRock, a titan of the asset management industry, is casting its gaze beyond Bitcoin ETFs towards the shimmering horizon of tokenized funds. Bloomberg reports that they’re eyeing ETFs on the blockchain, potentially allowing for 24/7 trading and novel uses in DeFi. 🌌

This isn’t uncharted territory for BlackRock-its $2.2B BUIDL fund stands as the largest tokenized money market fund. Isn’t advancement delightful?

This is historic:

For the first time, the number of ETFs has eclipsed individual stocks in history.

There are now over 4,300 ETFs, about 100 more than the 4,200 US-listed companies.

How fascinating, right?

The number of ETFs has doubled over the last eight years.

This year alone, 640…

– The Kobeissi Letter (@KobeissiLetter) August 26, 2025

#10 US Inflation Steady at 2.9% – Crypto Eyes the Fed

August’s CPI data has revealed itself, standing steady at 2.9% year-on-year-the highest since January, while core inflation clings stubbornly at 3.1%. Surprises everywhere, folks! 🎉

This leaves the Federal Reserve’s September 17th gathering firmly in the limelight, with markets divided between a 25bps or even 50bps cut. Hold onto your hats, dear readers, because Bitcoin and other risk assets may experience fresh swings as the Fed juggles stubborn prices with lackluster job data!

In the Spotlight

A few brief tidbits not to be overlooked!

Vietnam Launches Five-Year Crypto Pilot: Hanoi has blessed a trial program for regulated trading, under the scrutiny of strict rules on capital, ownership, and local control. Over 17 million Vietnamese already partake in crypto, establishing the country as a veritable sanctuary of hot exchanges.

Kazakhstan Eyes State Digital Asset Fund: President Tokayev has called forth a cry for a national crypto fund to hold strategic reserves and expand digital finance. Crypto use in the region has doubled in 24 months-an unmistakable signal of rapid adoption!

Kraken Brings Tokenized Stocks to Europe: Our friends at the exchange have rolled out Backed’s xStocks, granting EU users the royal privilege of accessing U.S. equities via tokenized certificates. Join the rat race alongside Gemini and Robinhood as Nasdaq contemplates its next strategic move!

Ledger Flags Failed NPM Supply Chain Attack: Hackers, in their infinite daring, attempted to sneak malicious code into fussily popular JavaScript packages to hijack crypto transactions. Coding errors revealed their scheme too soon, sparing users, yet Ledger warns that software wallets remain just one slip of the finger away from calamity.

First Dogecoin ETF Set for Sept. 11 Debut: Bloomberg’s Eric Balchunas hinted that Rex-Osprey’s DOGE fund (ticker: DOJE) will herald the dawning of the “memecoin ETF era.” This revelation comes as CleanCore Solutions discloses a hefty $68M Dogecoin treasury purchase-oh, the audacity! 🐶

What’s Next for Crypto?

Be prepared for major shifts on the horizon!

  • The memecoins’ meteoric rise alongside ETFs signifies their grand entrance into mainstream discourse.
  • The U.S. clash over crypto regulations is heating up, ensuring that whatever emerges will finally bring some clarity into chaos.
  • Big players like BlackRock and Kraken are energetically pushing the tokenization envelope, which is beginning to reshape market dynamics.
  • Governments, from Vietnam to Kazakhstan, are adopting crypto as a national asset and, in turn, rapidly increasing its use.
  • With rate cuts on the table and mounting momentum, Bitcoin and its brethren are poised to brave new heights.

That’s a wrap! Stay tuned for more updates on Coinpedia – I’ll be back next Saturday with a fresh cup of chaos. ☕

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2025-09-13 16:56