How Trump’s Wild Crypto 401(k) Dream Could Save Your Retirement 🤑😳

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Would you believe it? US lawmakers have actually been busy bees and are urging the mighty Paul Atkins of the SEC to hustle up, just like they learned from their reading of “Bridget Jones: Superhero” (a totally real sequel). They’re pushing for that fabulous executive order aimed at letting crypto bless US 401(k) retirement plans with its newfound charm.

In a flurry of activity on Monday, nine lawmakers-yes, not twelve like the room in the dorm but still a noteworthy squad comprising notable characters such as House Financial Services Committee Chairman French Hill and Subcommittee on Capital Markets Chairman Ann Wagner-voiced their demands. They kindly asked Atkins to sprinkle some of that SEC magic to help the Secretary of Labor and jazz up current regulations as needed. They cited the August memo straight from the desk of President Donald Trump: “Democratizing Access to Alternative Assets for 401(k) Investors.” Envision it: crypto dancing its way into your retirement stash, given your potential triple-A sophistication.

“The plot thickens! By making these alternative assets accessible, we’re drafting a fairy tale of a retirement for about 90 million Americans who are currently left twiddling their thumbs,” our intrepid lawmakers declared in their enthusiastic note, penned with more hope than a chick-lit protagonist’s fifth birthday party.

Following this grand adventure, there’s been a reversal of the Labor Department’s anti-crypto rant from May (yes, things have finally turned). They used to warn fiduciaries with a stern finger-wagging, “Exercise extreme caution while poking around with crypto in your retirement funds!”

“Every American hustling for retirement deserves that sweet, sweet access to alternative assets when the plan fiduciary decides it’s a shiny opportunity to boost risk-adjusted returns,” noted the lawmakers, a commendable cast including Frank D. Lucas, Warren Davidson, and others-names that notable columnists might add a special space to.

Imagine: A Modest Crypto Nibble Could Send $100 Billion Into the World of Crypto

If this whole endeavor sees the light of day, it could lead characters from the $9.3 trillion US 401(k) saga to embrace crypto as part of their act. Could we see an uptick in Euro futures sales on crypto exchanges? Indeed! The numbers do not lie. Even a scant 1% crypto sprinkle in this mighty pot of gold might drive a staggering $93 billion into crypto’s glow.

This trumps (pun intended) even the $60.6 billion that’s as casually slid into spot Bitcoin ETFs since the new year began back in 2024. Such times!

Public Pension Funds: They’re Already Sending Mixed Signals About Crypto

Taking the leading role, the State of Michigan Retirement System keeps its eyes on the crypto prize, with shopping bags full to the brim-$10.7 million worth of ARK 21Shares Bitcoin ETFs to be precise, all purchased throughout June (how delightfully quaint!). Plus, it’s holding dear its 460,000 shares of the Grayscale Ethereum Trust (ETHE), simply worth unspeakable riches, and it seems happy as a clam.

But not everyone shares this enthusiasm. The State of Wisconsin Investment Board, ever the dramatic shy wallflower, parted ways with all shares of BlackRock’s iShares Bitcoin Trust ETF. It seems their romance was short-lived. Plot twist or faux pas?

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2025-09-23 03:45