Oh, The Scandal! CZ Shouts “Faux Pas!” At FT’s Wild Tales of YZi Labs 💥

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Behold! Changpeng Zhao (our noble CZ) doth vehemently cast aside the Financial Times’ scandalous scribblings, which did claim YZi Labs might fling open its $10 billion coffers to strangers abroad!

The Grand Rebuttal of CZ Against the Financial Times’ Fantasmagorias

Lo and witness! The illustrious co-founder and erstwhile CEO of Binance, Master Changpeng Zhao-whom the vulgar masses know simply as CZ- hath thundered against a tale spun by the Financial Times. This tale did assert that YZi Labs might one day unveil their $10 billion treasure hoard to any fool or knave with coin to toss. CZ, upon first seeing such nonsense on the gossiping scrolls of social media, declared it to be “complete false news,” born of “fake, made-up info and negative narratives” worthy of farces and jesters alike.

In a grand proclamation upon the platform known as “X,” CZ did lay forth the truth: YZi Labs doth not seek suitors or lovers of gold beyond their own circle, and hath never invited a single outsider to proffer their gold since the great rebranding feast. Furthermore, he scorned the rumor of any “demo” day where startups might parade before the venture fund’s eyes, calling it mere mirage and smoke of the devil’s own making.

The Financial Times doth tell a tale of the venerable U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), who supposedly knocked upon YZi Labs’ door after its chairman, one Paul Atkins, skipped a “demo day” at the grand stage of the New York Stock Exchange. The lady of the house, Ella Zhang, was quoted saying the coffers might eventually open to outsiders, though she hastened to add, “it’s not there yet.” Aye, the classic “not yet” to calm the rabble!

Upon these trumped-up tales, CZ, with righteous indignation, denied ever speaking with Chairman Atkins, declaring:

“No demo hath there been, no parley with good Paul Atkins from YZi Labs or me. Though I hold the man in great respect, gleaned only from the whispers of public scrolls.”

CZ Unmasks Legal Follies and Media Shenanigans

The noble CZ further did untangle the web of legal babble: he did confess to but a solitary violation of the Bank Secrecy Act-specifically a failure to keep a spotless anti-money laundering ledger. To call this a “money laundering” offense, he claims, is but a charlatan’s exaggeration and a jest unworthy of serious men.

Meanwhile, CZ revealed the Financial Times’ long courtship for an interview, to which he almost succumbed. Alas! At the very last moment, other engagements did claim his time. Thus, the lady Ella Zhang was sent forth to dine with the scribes first, and from this banquet emerged the curious chronicles that vex us all.

“The Financial Times did tempt me long with promises of a kind review over a luncheon repast. Almost did I consent last week, but fate and busyness intervened-so Ella broke bread with them first, and lo! This is the tapestry that was woven.” Thus shouted the fiery co-founder of Binance, with the gleam of mischief in his eye. 🎭🍽️

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2025-09-24 02:28