In a stunning move that’s either visionary genius or the world’s most expensive guess, Coinbase CEO Brian Armstrong has declared Bitcoin could hit $1,000,000 by 2030. If you’ve got a spare million dollars lying around, now’s the time to panic-buy a mattress. 😂
Armstrong argues that banks and hedge funds are finally realizing Bitcoin is just like regular money but with more emojis. He also credits “ETF inflows” (read: people throwing cash at crypto like it’s the last firework at a county fair) and Bitcoin’s “limited supply” (i.e., it’s so scarce, it makes a Michelin-starred restaurant reservation look like a fast-food giveaway). 🍽️
With rising inflation and economic uncertainty, Armstrong insists investors are now treating Bitcoin like a “reliable store of value.” Sure, because nothing says “reliable” like a digital ledger that can be lost if you forget your password. 🔐
Halving cycles? Oh yes, Bitcoin’s version of a sale-only instead of 50% off, it’s “Hey, let’s cut the supply in half and call it a ‘halving.’” And developer activity? Apparently, coding a blockchain is the new knitting. 🧶
Armstrong isn’t blind to the fact that governments might decide to turn Bitcoin into a regulatory piñata, but hey-volatility is just the economy’s way of saying “surprise!” 🎉
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2025-09-24 08:07