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Oh, great, Trump’s latest brainwave: Hypothetical checks from tariff booty to pump up crypto prices. Because nothing says ‘stimulating the economy’ like flooding the market with liquid nonsense and watching Bitcoin moonwalk to infinity and beyond. Analysts are just giddy! 💸🐂
Experts Speculate Trump’s Imaginary Payday Might Kickstart a Crypto Comedy Show
So, President Trump dropped this bomb on One America News Network, hinting that some of those sweet tariff trillions might trickle down to us common folk as checks. Sure, most of it’s for debt (yawn), but hey, $1K to $2K? Sounds like a plot from a bad sitcom. And financial whiz kids at Bitfinex? They’re already foaming at the mouth about a crypto boom. Because why not? 😂
“We’re thinking maybe $1,000 to $2,000 – it would be great,” Trump quipped, promising over $1 trillion in tariff gold annually. Bold claims for a guy who once tried to sell hotels on reality TV. Analysts, bless their hearts, are comparing this to COVID stimulus checks-remember those? When everyone bought dogecoin on a whim? Bitfinex told Forbes (via a cheeky tweet): “This could mirror what we witnessed following the COVID stimulus checks.” Oh, joy! 🌪️🪙
In their own words:
We suspect that Trump’s announcement of potentially considering a stimulus check for every citizen, funded by tariffs, could also contribute to a further rise in bitcoin’s price.
Peter Zimmerman from the Cleveland Fed spat out some stats: COVID checks bumped Bitcoin trades by 3.8% and price by a whopping 0.07%. Modest? That’s like saying a lake is a big puddle. But hey, with more BTC products floating around like bad ideas at a party, this could turn into a retail investor frenzy. Who ignored crypto before? Now it’s basically the cool kid’s table. 🚀😏
Bitcoin just smashed $126K, laughed off the government shutdown, and positioned itself as the “safe haven” asset-from what, a zombie apocalypse? Institutional buyers are all in, momentum’s roaring, and analysts are betting this bull run has marathon legs, not a sprint. Meanwhile, Trump’s probably tweeting about sharks or something. Spoiler: The economy loves a good plot twist! 💥🍿
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2025-10-07 05:33