Oh, good heavens. Those Florida lawmakers – a delightfully eccentric bunch, aren’t they? – have decided that fiddling with Bitcoin is a splendid idea. It’s their 2026 legislative session, and they’re starting it by seriously considering putting the state’s money into… *digital magic beans*. Honestly!
The proposal, filed on October 15th (a date that now fills me with dread), suggests Florida could become the first US state to treat Bitcoin like a piggy bank. A very, very wobbly piggy bank, mind you. 🐷
Lawmakers Want a Crypto Stash?
This brilliant scheme, concocted by Representative Webster Barnaby (a name that sounds suspiciously like a villain from a children’s book), would let the state’s Chief Financial Officer gamble – sorry, invest – up to 10% of the General Revenue Fund and the Budget Stabilization Fund into Bitcoin and other digital doohickeys. And the Florida Retirement System? They might get to risk 10% of your pension, too! Isn’t that reassuring? 🙄
They’ve even defined these “digital assets” broadly enough to include those peculiar NFTs. You know, the ones people pay fortunes for then realize are just… pictures of monkeys? Yes, THOSE.
Naturally, they’re insisting on “strict custody rules” which, translated from Bureaucratese, means they’ll lock it up somewhere very safe… hopefully not under the mattress. These rules require things like licensed custodians and SEC-registered ETFs. All very official sounding, don’t you think? Very reassuring… until the whole thing crashes and burns 🔥.
“States are seeking to modernize their balance sheets,” says Julian Fahrer, a founder of a tracking platform. Modernize? More like… *digitize the disaster*! 🤭
“More than 50 digital-asset reserve bills have been introduced across the US this year, and Florida is clearly moving early,” he added.
And as if that weren’t enough, they’re planning to let residents pay taxes in digital assets! Which will then be immediately converted back to good old US dollars. A complete waste of effort, if you ask me, but then nobody ever does. The bill is scheduled to start causing chaos on July 1, 2026.
They’re even citing a White House executive order about a “Strategic Bitcoin Reserve”. Apparently, when the government seizes dodgy Bitcoin, it can just…keep it. Sounds perfectly reasonable, doesn’t it? 🤔
State of #Florida Files Strategic #Bitcoin Reserve Bill
House Bill 183 will allow Florida to invest public funds into Bitcoin and other digital assets.
– MartyParty (@martypartymusic) October 16, 2025
A Signal for More Mayhem?
Arizona, New Hampshire, and Texas have already had a go at this nonsense, and others are planning to join the party. It’s a race to the bottom, really. A competition to see who can build the most precarious financial house of cards. 🃏
If this bill passes, prepare for a whole new level of public-fund mismanagement. It could inspire other states to do the same, turning public treasuries into virtual casinos. Very exciting… for the vultures, that is. 😈
Florida already considers itself a crypto paradise, having set up a Fintech Policy Office and a “Financial Technology Sandbox” to let crypto startups play. Now they want to let them play with the state’s money, too. It’s a recipe for disaster, I tell you! A DISASTER! 💥
Analysts say this could attract more capital. I say it could attract more trouble. But what do I know? I’m just a humble observer of financial foolishness.
HB 183 is now off to committee hearings. Let’s hope someone, somewhere, applies a healthy dose of common sense. But I wouldn’t bet on it. 😬
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2025-10-17 03:58