Markets
Here’s the Tea (and a Few Tears): 🧴
- JPMorgan’s latest report: “Crypto-Natives Are the Real Culprits (But Who Else?)” 😂
- Bitcoin ETFs and CME futures: “We’re totally fine, thanks for asking.” Ether: “I’m crying into my 40% drop.” 🙃
- Perpetual futures open interest? More like “perpetual panic” after a 40% plunge. 🚨
The market’s equivalent of a teenager’s emotional breakdown? Probably crypto-native traders, according to JPMorgan (JPM). 🤷♀️
Bitcoin and ether both took a hit after October 10, but spot BTC ETFs and CME BTC futures? “We’re not worried, really.” 🤪
Bitcoin ETF outflows: $220 million. Ether ETFs: $370 million. JPMorgan’s analysts: “This is why we can’t have nice things.” 💸
CME futures? Minimal bitcoin liquidations, but ether? “I’m out, see you later.” 🚀
The real drama? Perpetual futures. Open interest dropped 40%-because nothing says “I’m stressed” like betting your life savings on crypto. 💸
JPMorgan’s verdict? Crypto-natives are the main villains. Ether? It’s just the tragic sidekick. 🎭
Read More
- Brent Oil Forecast
- Gold Rate Forecast
- Szabo’s Bitcoin Warning: Don’t Mess It Up!
- How the SEC and Nasdaq Play Whack-a-Mole with Chinese IPO Scandals 🎭💼
- Why Bitcoin is the New Water Cooler Topic: Decline, Drama, and Structural Weakness!
- USD PHP PREDICTION
- SEC Throws a Crypto Party, But Only for the Well-Behaved 😎
- BNB Blasts Off on Solana’s Smoldering Wreckage! 🚀🐒
- BitGo CEO: Banks Can’t Win the Crypto Custody War-Here’s the Explosive Reason
- XRP Rockets Up, But Don’t Get Excited Yet (Aliens Might Intervene)
2025-10-17 17:45