Markets
Here’s the Tea (and a Few Tears): 🧴
- JPMorgan’s latest report: “Crypto-Natives Are the Real Culprits (But Who Else?)” 😂
- Bitcoin ETFs and CME futures: “We’re totally fine, thanks for asking.” Ether: “I’m crying into my 40% drop.” 🙃
- Perpetual futures open interest? More like “perpetual panic” after a 40% plunge. 🚨
The market’s equivalent of a teenager’s emotional breakdown? Probably crypto-native traders, according to JPMorgan (JPM). 🤷♀️
Bitcoin and ether both took a hit after October 10, but spot BTC ETFs and CME BTC futures? “We’re not worried, really.” 🤪
Bitcoin ETF outflows: $220 million. Ether ETFs: $370 million. JPMorgan’s analysts: “This is why we can’t have nice things.” 💸
CME futures? Minimal bitcoin liquidations, but ether? “I’m out, see you later.” 🚀
The real drama? Perpetual futures. Open interest dropped 40%-because nothing says “I’m stressed” like betting your life savings on crypto. 💸
JPMorgan’s verdict? Crypto-natives are the main villains. Ether? It’s just the tragic sidekick. 🎭
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2025-10-17 17:45