In the bustling world of American bureaucratic ballet, Michael Selig, an SEC official whose job title sounds like he was invented to confuse outsiders, has been casually tipped off (or so we’re told) as a potential new sheriff of the Commodities Futures Trading Circus. Yes, the same agency currently featuring as many open seats as a vampire’s dinner party.
Apparently, in a move that’s as subtle as a train in a supermarket, Selig and the infamous „crypto and AI czar“ David Sacks took to the ancient art of X (formerly known as Twitter) to confirm that President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, had decided that Selig should step up and take the reins-although the official paperwork still dances a little too delicately in the shadows of congressional records. The goal? Making the US a “crypto capital,” because nothing says stability like a Good Old Boy’s game of “Guess Where the Regulations Went?”
Meanwhile, as the government’s shutdown (that’s politeness for “everyone-stop-working-because-we-argued-about-money”) hits week five, Congress is busy debating whether healthcare or crypto should win the prize for “Which Is More Important?” Spoiler: It’s probably neither, but they’re trying anyway.
Since Kristin Johnson took a one-way trip out of the regulator last September, the CFTC has been running on fumes-just Chair Caroline Pham attempting to keep the ship afloat, with every other seat sitting empty, whispering “someone, please, come back.” Rumors of Selig’s appointment remain less confirmed than Bigfoot, and the Senate is still pondering whether to give him a ceremonial nod or keep pretending he doesn’t exist.
And just to keep things lively, Trump pulled Brian Quintenz-who wasn’t exactly the crypto-loving teddy bear everyone hoped for-out of the mix, allegedly after the crypto billionaires, the Winklevoss twins, threw their hands in the air, unimpressed by Quintenz’s “I’ll think about it” performance on enforcement policies. It’s like musical chairs, but with more dollar signs and less dignity.
Crypto Dad Speaks (Sort Of): The Gears of Regulation Grind Slowly
CryptoMoon caught up with the legendary “crypto dad,” Chris Giancarlo, who hinted that trying to get the CFTC to do its job while running with just a partial crew is like trying to play chess with a pigeon-possible, but pointless and messy.
According to the wise man, “the government’s very aware that staffing shortages mean they’re basically playing regulatory Jenga, risking a collapse just when they need to look busy.” The CLARITY Act? Still sitting in limbo, much like the last slice of pizza at a party where nobody wants to admit they took it.
As Monday dawned, no fresh nominations had officially crossed the line from “rumor” to “done deal,” but whispers suggest Trump might be eyeing Nathan Anonick and Paul Balzano-two guys whose names sound more like secret agents than regulators. Stay tuned: the next episode of “Regulation Rumble” is about to begin.
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2025-10-27 23:10