🇫🇷 Ciotti’s Crypto Coup: Bitcoin as France’s New Baguette? 🥖💰

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Ah, the grand theater of politics! Behold, the gallant Éric Ciotti, a lawmaker with a penchant for the dramatic, strides onto the stage of the National Assembly, his eyes gleaming with the fervor of a man who has seen the future-and it is digital. 🌟 His proposal? To anoint Bitcoin as the sacred “digital gold” of France, a nation already drowning in cheese, wine, and existentialism. Why not add a dash of cryptocurrency to the mix? 🧀🍷

In October 2025, Ciotti unveiled his masterpiece, a bill so bold it could make Molière blush. France, he proclaimed, shall not merely dabble in Bitcoin but embrace it as a strategic national asset. Imagine, if you will, the Louvre’s basement brimming not with forgotten masterpieces, but with 420,000 BTC. A treasure fit for a 21st-century Napoleon! 🎨💎

The Grand Scheme: A Bitcoin Bastille

Ciotti’s plan, backed by the Union of the Right and Center Party (UDR), is nothing short of audacious. A national Bitcoin Strategic Reserve, funded by the sweat of nuclear reactors, the tears of seized crypto criminals, and the spare change from Livret A accounts. Oh, and let’s not forget the patriotic citizens paying taxes in Bitcoin-because nothing says “liberté, égalité, fraternité” like a blockchain transaction. 🇫🇷⚡

Here’s how the magic happens:

  • 🛠️ Public Bitcoin Mining: France’s surplus energy, once wasted on trivialities like lighting the Eiffel Tower, shall now be harnessed to mine Bitcoin. Efficiency at its finest!
  • ⚖️ Seized Bitcoin: Criminals, beware! Your ill-gotten gains will now fund the nation’s digital glory.
  • 💰 Livret A Funds: Grandma’s savings? Perfect for daily Bitcoin purchases. She’ll thank you… eventually.
  • 🧾 Taxes in Bitcoin: Pending constitutional approval, of course. Because nothing says “modern governance” like a tax system that requires a crypto wallet. 🧑‍💻

Ciotti’s rationale? Bitcoin, he claims, will fortify France’s independence, especially from those pesky Americans eyeing French crypto mining firms. “We shall not be outmined!” he declares, his voice echoing through the halls of the Assembly. 🦅🚫

Éric Ciotti presenting his Bitcoin bill

The Crypto Carnival Continues

But wait, there’s more! Ciotti’s bill is a veritable smorgasbord of crypto initiatives:

  • 💶 Euro Stablecoins: For small, tax-free payments up to €200. Because who doesn’t love a digital coin pegged to the euro? 🛍️
  • 🚫 No to “Digital Euro”: Ciotti scoffs at the EU’s plans for a government-controlled digital euro. “Privacy is dead!” he laments, clutching his pearls. 👁️‍🗨️
  • 🛡️ Support for Crypto Industry: Lower electricity taxes for miners and easier Bitcoin purchases for big investors. Because miners deserve a break too! ⚒️

The Political Tightrope

Alas, Ciotti’s grand vision faces a formidable obstacle: his party holds a mere 16 out of 577 seats in parliament. Analysts, ever the pessimists, predict a rocky road ahead. But fear not, for even if the bill fails, Ciotti has planted a flag in the sands of political discourse. Bitcoin, once the domain of tech enthusiasts and libertarians, now knocks on the doors of mainstream politics. 🏛️🚪

France, ever the trendsetter, joins the ranks of nations pondering crypto’s place in their economies. Will Ciotti’s plan succeed? Only time-and the whims of the National Assembly-will tell. Until then, let us raise a glass of digital champagne to the man who dared to dream of a Bitcoin-powered France. 🥂🚀

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2025-10-28 15:29