Elon’s X Chat: Encryption ‘Similar to Bitcoin’? 🚀

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In a turn of events more bewildering than a parrot in a tailcoat, tech magnate Elon Musk has unveiled a new messaging app called “X Chat,” which he claims is “as secure as a Bitcoin wallet in a hurricane.” 🧠💸

“On X, we just rebuilt the entire messaging stack into what’s called ‘X Chat,’” said Musk during The Joe Rogan Experience podcast, which aired on Friday. One might say he’s “rebuilding” with the enthusiasm of a man who’s just discovered the concept of “privacy.” 🤯

“It’s using a peer-to-peer-based encryption system, kind of similar to Bitcoin. It’s very good encryption; we’re testing it thoroughly.”

Musk, ever the optimist, promises the app will launch “in a few months”-a timeframe as reliable as a clockwork mouse. 🕰️ He also vows it’ll be “free of advertising hooks,” which is reassuring, given that WhatsApp’s “hooks” are reportedly as subtle as a sledgehammer. ⚙️

“But then, that’s a massive security vulnerability because if it knows enough information to show you ads, that’s a lot of information,” he said, as if the average user hasn’t already handed over their soul to Meta. 🧙‍♂️

Does WhatsApp read your messages?

WhatsApp’s parent company, Meta, claims it doesn’t have access to private messages, explaining in its FAQ that messages between people are end-to-end encrypted using the Signal Protocol. This, of course, is as trustworthy as a magician’s word. 🔮

However, it’s understood that “metadata,” such as who you chatted with and how often you talk with them, is not encrypted. WhatsApp also does not automatically encrypt backup copies of your chat history. A security flaw so glaring, even a parrot would notice. 🦜

WhatsApp’s FAQ section on “Does WhatsApp collect or sell your data?” skirts answering the latter part of the question, only explaining that “we work with other Meta Companies to help provide, improve and support each other’s services.” A statement so vague, it could mean anything from “we’re plotting world domination” to “we’re out of coffee.” ☕

“If you choose to integrate your WhatsApp experience with other Meta products, we will share some information with Meta to make this possible.” A promise as reassuring as a pirate’s map. 🏴‍☠️

X Chat won’t have these hooks, says Musk 

Musk promised that X Chat won’t have these advertising “hooks.” One might say he’s “rebuilding” with the enthusiasm of a man who’s just discovered the concept of “privacy.” 🤯

“I’m not saying it’s perfect, but our goal with X chat is to replace what used to be the Twitter DM stack with a fully encrypted system where you can text, send files, do audio video calls, and I think it will be the least insecure of any messaging system.” A claim as bold as a penguin in a tuxedo. 🐧

He added that the messaging app will be available as part of the X platform and as its own standalone app. A move so daring, it’s almost impressive. 🎩

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2025-11-01 03:20