Bitcoin’s Byzantine Ascension: $150K Bobble or Billionaire’s Blunder? 🚀💰

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In the velveteen hush of the Schwab Network’s “Market Overtime,” Saint Michael Saylor, CEO of Strategy, waxed apocalyptic about Bitcoin’s price journey. He envisions a celestial vault of $150,000 by the final hourglass of this year, as if the BTC deity had whispered its plan into the shell of his corporate ear. “Our corporate guidance,” he intoned, “targeted at the zenith of $150,000 by Y2K25’s dour curtain call.” A number so gaudy it could make Michelangelo’s Sistine ceiling blush. 😂

The year 2025, in this prophetic ledger, shall unfurl as the dawn of institutional adoption-a savior’s first light for custodians of digital assets. But lo! The grandiloquent Saylor dared to wink at posterity, claiming BTC could ascend to a ludicrous $21 million. A figure so preposterous it dwarfs the salary of a starlet’s Instagram filter. He mused that 29% annual appreciation, unrelented over 21 years, would forge this apotheosis. One imagines BTC’s ascent as a moth’s valiant, self-immolating waltz toward the sun’s gaze. 🌞💸

The Philosophy of Chains and Keys

Saylor, in his didactic finery, dubbed Bitcoin a “very elegant artifact” for binding economic energy to one’s mortal coil. “Behold,” he declared, “Bitcoin is the world’s first technology-yes, you, dear reader-where flesh and capital entwine like lovers at a Venetian masquerade. You need not beg your overlords’ permission to own what is yours, thank you very much!” He added, with a line as sharp as a Venetian dagger: “Murder me, seize my soul, but not a single satoshi shall pass.” 🔪🔐

Aldous Huxley’s Trust Fund Pundits

The CEO’s ire was reserved for skeptics, whom he pilloried as “Upper East Side trust fund pawns, blissfully cradled in a fiat utopia where currency hasn’t crumbled for a century.” A witless lot, these doubters, who never faced the specter of hyperinflation. “Bitcoin,” he scoffed, “is digital capital for the rest of us-those whose banknotes wither like autumn leaves.” One might imagine Saylor as a droll Prospero, tossing pearls of wisdom to the tempest-tossed masses while moonlighting as a crypto oracle. 🌪️🧙♂️

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2025-11-04 09:02