Oh, look who’s playing with crypto now! 🤷♂️ The Trump Media and Technology Group (TMTG), because why not give a media company a pretentious name, has decided to stash over 11,500 Bitcoin… valued at over $1.3 billion. Because nothing says “financial genius” like buying crypto while hemorrhaging cash. 🤑
The disclosure marks the company’s largest confirmed allocation to date and places it among the biggest public-sector corporate holders of Bitcoin. Which is impressive if you ignore the fact that they’re still losing money like it’s going out of style. 🚨
TMTG Bitcoin Holdings Fail to Yield Gains
TMTG accelerated its pivot earlier this year when it formally adopted Bitcoin as a core reserve asset. Because nothing protects you from “harassment by banks” like hoarding a volatile asset that’s lost 50% of its value since they bought in. 🙃
At the time, TMTG said the company turned to BTC to protect itself from what he described as harassment and discriminatory treatment by financial institutions. Because nothing says “financial stability” like blaming banks for being… well, banks. 🚨
That argument tied Trump Media’s strategy to a wider corporate trend in which firms use Bitcoin to limit perceived dependence on banks that can freeze, slow, or scrutinize accounts. Translation: “We don’t trust institutions, but we do trust a currency that can crash to zero.” 🤷♀️
Meanwhile, the company’s holdings extend beyond Bitcoin. TMTG reported owning roughly 756 million Cronos (CRO) tokens, worth approximately $110 million. Because why stick to just one crypto when you can confuse investors with a buffet of alphabet soup? 🧃
The position reflects the company’s growing alignment with Crypto.com, a relationship that has already produced several crypto-focused initiatives, including exchange-traded products and promotional tie-ins. Which is great if you’re trying to sound busy but not actually profitable. 📈
These initiatives helped position TMTG as a more active participant in the crypto economy, even though they have not reversed the firm’s financial challenges. But let’s not get too excited. Despite this glittering crypto treasure trove, TMTG is still losing money like it’s going out of style. A cool $54.8 million net loss in Q3 2025? Why stop there? Just declare bankruptcy and let the memes take over. 🤡
Trump’s Family Crypto Holdings Surge
As TMTG increased its exposure, other Trump-connected ventures expanded theirs as well, creating a broader cluster of politically adjacent crypto holdings. Because of course they did-nothing brings a family closer than turning everything into a side hustle. 👨👩👧👦
Data from Arkham Intelligence indicates that several affiliated entities now hold substantial balances. Which is either a masterstroke or a collective delusion. We’re leaning toward the latter. 🤯
Other notable Trump Family entities:
Donald Trump: holds $861K in crypto
World Liberty Fi: holds $5.76B in crypto
Official Trump Meme: holds $6.30B in crypto
Official Melania Meme: holds $19.65M in crypto
Trump Cards: holds $29.72K in crypto– Arkham (@arkham) November 8, 2025
Trump personally holds about $861,000 worth of digital assets, while World Liberty Financial, one of the largest Trump-associated projects, controls more than $5.7 billion in crypto. Because why let a few million dollars go to waste when you can pretend it’s a “strategic investment”? 💼
Additional holdings include $6.3 billion tied to Official Trump Meme, $19.65 million linked to Official Melania Meme, and nearly $30,000 associated with the Trump Cards collection. Because Melania’s fashion empire wasn’t enough. Now she’s a crypto queen too. 👑
These positions grew as the White House intensified its pro-crypto messaging, which shaped both the political environment and the commercial incentives for Trump-aligned ventures to deepen their involvement. Because nothing says “policy expertise” like jumping on a hype train. 🚂
Taken together, the holdings show a coordinated embrace of digital assets across Trump-linked entities. They also reflect the administration’s broader effort to position crypto as both a strategic asset and a policy priority. Or as we like to call it, “How to Lose Friends and Money in 10 Easy Steps.” 📚
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2025-11-08 23:03