It was a quiet Tuesday when the news arrived, like a stray cat slinking into a bakery-subtle, yet destined to knock over flour sacks. Taiwan, that industrious island where umbrellas bloom in rainstorms and convenience stores outnumber thoughts, now eyes Bitcoin as its financial life preserver. The central bank, ever the cautious accountant, nods along to pilot tests with seized crypto. One wonders if the seized coins prefer their new role as national saviors or miss their criminal pastimes. 🎭
Taiwan Holding Bitcoin as a National Reserve
Dr. Ju-chun Ko, a legislator with the earnestness of a man who’s never lost a debate to a parrot, claims the New Taiwan Dollar’s volatility “threatens stability.” Of course, because nothing says “stability” like tethering your economy to a digital token invented by an anonymous anarchist. 🧨
Currently, 92% of Taiwan’s reserves are locked in U.S. Treasuries-the financial equivalent of storing socks in a drawer that might vanish if America sneezes. Gold? A paltry 423 tonnes. “Not enough!” cries Ko, as if gold isn’t already the other shiny rock that crashed economies in 1849. 🏦
Taiwan breakthrough! Premier & CBC commit to:
1⃣ Study #Bitcoin as strategic reserve
2⃣ Draft BTC-friendly rules in 6 mos
3⃣ Pilot BTC treasury holdings-starting with inventorying seized BTC awaiting auction!
Led by @dAAAb . #BTC fam, let’s make TW the Asia hub! …
One imagines the seized Bitcoin, once the pride of hackers and scammers, now scrubbed and suited, sipping espresso in a central bank vault. “From ransomware to reserves,” it whispers. “How the mighty aspire to be mundane.” 💸
Samson Mow’s Vision Gains Ground in Asia
Samson Mow, the Johnny Appleseed of Bitcoin diplomacy, applauds Taiwan’s “forward-thinking.” El Salvador’s experiment with volcano-backed BTC bonds ended so well, after all. 🌋 Why not replicate that chaos in Asia? Mow, a man who sees gold as “just a rock with a PR team,” now preaches digital salvation. The crowd gasps. The skeptics cough. The alchemists cheer. 🔮
Global Momentum Toward Bitcoin Reserves
America’s $17B Strategic Bitcoin Reserve-funded by Trump’s memoir royalties and alien abduction lawsuits-proves the trend is definitely not a farce. Argentina, El Salvador, and now Taiwan: a global relay race where the baton is a speculative frenzy. 🏃♂️
If Taiwan succeeds, it’ll join the history books as Asia’s first Bitcoin-backed economy. Or perhaps its first cautionary tale. Either way, the markets will watch, popcorn in hand. 🍿
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2025-11-13 14:30