The Peculiar Case of Arthur Hayes and the Great Crypto Dump 🎩
- Arthur Hayes, the mischievous co-founder of BitMEX, unloaded a whopping $5M in crypto faster than a greased weasel escaping a banker’s grip.
- While Bitcoin and Ethereum whimpered like scolded puppies, Hayes clung to Zcash like a child clutching their last candy-declaring it his second-favorite shiny thing.
- Meanwhile, a dusty old Ethereum wallet woke from its decade-long nap, coughed up 200 ETH, and promptly made everyone else feel poor. 🏦
Oh, what a spectacle it was! The markets trembled, the traders wept, and Arthur Hayes-ever the sly fox-danced through the chaos like a man who’d just sold ice to penguins. Bitcoin slumped to six-month lows, Ethereum whimpered, and altcoins flopped about like fish out of water. 🐟
Analytics platform Lookonchain, ever the nosy neighbor, caught Hayes red-handed, dumping tokens left and right through FalconX and Wintermute. Some say he did it to avoid volatility. Others whisper he simply wanted to buy more biscuits. 🍪
The Great Token Purge 🔥
Lookonchain’s ledger revealed Hayes’ grand sell-off: $2.48M in Ethereum (ouch), $1.384M in Ethena (double ouch), and $480K in Lido DAO (triple ouch). Smaller positions in Aave, Uniswap, and ether.fi were tossed aside like yesterday’s leftovers.
“Arthur Hayes(@CryptoHayes) appears to have sold 520 $ETH($1.66M), 2.62M $ENA($733K), and 132,730 $ETHFI($124K) 4 hours ago.”
– Lookonchain (@lookonchain) November 16, 2025
Then, like a man possessed, Hayes dumped another $1.66M in ETH, $733K in ENA, and $124K in ETHFI-just as Bitcoin and Ethereum hit lows not seen since early 2024. Traders panicked, liquidity vanished, and the markets whimpered like a kicked puppy. 🐶
The Zcash Obsession 🤯
Amidst the carnage, Hayes clung to Zcash like a sailor to a life raft. He declared it his second-largest liquid asset (after Bitcoin, naturally) and boldly predicted it could reach 0.2 BTC-roughly $19,200. That’s like saying a turnip could become a diamond, but hey, stranger things have happened.
ZEC, ever the overachiever, surged 7% in a week and 217% in a month-while everything else burned. Some say privacy coins thrive in chaos. Others suspect Hayes just enjoys watching the world squirm.
The Mysterious Case of the Dormant Wallet 🕵️♂️
Just when things couldn’t get weirder, a decade-old Ethereum wallet-long forgotten like a sock under the bed-suddenly coughed up 200 ETH ($626K). The wallet’s owner, who had invested a measly $310 in the ICO, now sat on a 10,097x return. Some call it genius. Others call it sheer dumb luck.
“An Ethereum ICO wallet 0x9a67 just transferred 200 $ETH($626K) out after 10+ years of dormancy.
He invested only $310 in the ICO and received 1,000 $ETH – now worth $3.13M, a 10,097x return!”
– Lookonchain (@lookonchain) November 17, 2025
Meanwhile, Ethereum analysts bickered like old hens-Tom Lee preached patience, while Ali Martinez warned of a drop to $1,800. The market, ever the fickle beast, remained torn between hope and despair.
Will Ethereum recover? Will Hayes buy back in? Will Zcash moon? Tune in next week, folks-because in crypto, the only certainty is chaos. 🎢
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2025-11-17 11:40