🚨 India’s Crypto ‘Maggi’ Boil: 623 Crore Cooked in Digital Pot! 🍜💸

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Key Highlights

  • A global ICIJ-Indian Express investigation found that crypto exchanges in India were used to route Rs 623.63 crore stolen from nearly 2,900 victims. Because nothing says “trust” like turning your life savings into Dogecoin and hoping it doesn’t vanish like your dignity at a family function.
  • The Home Ministry’s I4C flagged 27 exchanges after analysing 144 cybercrime cases, revealing how criminals converted stolen money into crypto and sent it abroad. Because nothing says “India is on it” like taking 21 months to notice people are robbing wallets faster than you can say “Jio”.
  • India faces a regulatory vacuum as crypto use surges, with authorities struggling to police cross-border laundering and even store seized digital assets securely. Because what’s a country without rules? Just a fancy playground for hackers with better Wi-Fi.

A sweeping global investigation has revealed how cryptocurrency platforms are being used to move stolen money across borders, and India has found itself deeply entangled in the mess. Because of course we did-why would criminals bother with banks when they can just pretend to be NFT artists?

Over the past 21 months, the Home Ministry’s Indian Cyber Crime Coordination Centre (I4C) flagged 27 crypto exchanges that allegedly acted as channels for cyber-criminals. According to officials, around Rs 623.63 crore taken from nearly 2,872 victims ended up passing through these platforms between January 2024 and September 2025. Because who needs a timeline that makes sense when you can have a timeline that’s just chaos and emojis?

These findings are part of The Coin Laundry, a project led by The Indian Express along with the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists (ICIJ). For ten months, 113 journalists from 38 newsrooms traced the growing misuse of crypto exchanges around the world and mapped out how digital assets have quietly become a new route for illegal money to move from one country to another. Because nothing says “global cooperation” like 113 people writing a report about how everyone’s terrible at this.

How crypto is being misused

Investigators looked into 144 cybercrime cases involving Indian victims and found that criminals were converting stolen money into cryptocurrency almost immediately. Once the funds were converted, they were routed through multiple wallets, mixing services and offshore exchanges, often disappearing in minutes. Because what’s faster than a scammer emptying your account? A scammer emptying your account and then sending the money to a wallet in the Bahamas that you can’t track.

As the investigation notes, “Cryptocurrency exchanges, operating in a regulatory grey zone and powered by technologies that race far ahead of policy, have become the newest gateways and hubs for dirty money to cross borders.” Because of course! Why regulate something when you can just let it spiral into a black hole of confusion and then blame the users?

Though blockchain records are public, the people behind the transactions remain hidden. This combination of speed and anonymity has turned digital tokens into a preferred tool for fraudsters, ransomware groups, drug syndicates and networks looking to avoid sanctions. Because nothing says “transparency” like a ledger that only a computer scientist can read and a criminal who looks like a normal guy in a hoodie.

A Russian link that stood out

One of the more unusual cases involved a Russian national accused of crypto crimes who had unexpectedly close ties to India’s entertainment and investor circles. Because nothing says “trust” like a guy with a suspicious accent being besties with Bollywood stars and Elon Musk’s mom.

Investigators found that he had a role in a film featuring Kevin Spacey and Disha Patani, had organised investor events aimed at Indians, and even attended a birthday celebration in Mumbai for Maye Musk, the mother of Elon Musk. Behind this social façade, officials say, were connections to international laundering networks. Because of course! What’s a crypto kingpin if not the ultimate party animal?

India’s regulatory void

Even as cryptocurrency becomes more popular among Indian investors, official policy has not kept up. The government remains wary of regulating the sector because it fears regulation might look like approval. One official explanation in the report states that strictly regulating cryptocurrencies might “draw more investors into an asset seen as volatile and systemically risky.” Because nothing says “government wisdom” like pretending not to know what crypto is while letting it destroy people’s savings.

The Finance Ministry is currently putting together a discussion paper, but it is still at a very early stage. Meanwhile, enforcement agencies face practical problems. One top agency, unable to find a secure government system to store seized digital coins, has temporarily kept nearly $4 million worth of cryptocurrency with a private custody service. Because of course! Why build a secure system when you can just outsource your incompetence to a company that probably also lost your data?

For ordinary investors, the lack of clear rules means they are on their own if an exchange collapses or blocks withdrawals. There is no RBI help, no SEBI protection and no dedicated grievance system. Because what’s a country without support systems? Just a place where your life savings vanish like a bad meme.

Exchanges under pressure

Indian exchanges say the environment has become difficult. Unclear rules combined with heavy taxes, including a 1% TDS on every transaction and a 30% tax on gains, have pushed traders away. Between April 2022 and July 2023, trading volumes on Indian platforms crashed by about 97%, with nearly Rs 35,000 crore worth of activity moving to offshore exchanges that operate freely without following Indian requirements. Because of course! Why invest in a country that taxes you like you’re a corporate titan when you can just move your crypto to a place that doesn’t care?

Most of the major Indian crypto platforms, including WazirX, CoinDCX, Mudrex, CoinSwitch, Pi42, Onramp and BitBNS, are owned through foreign entities. Founders say this is common in global fintech, though several admit that India’s uncertain policy environment played a big role in their decision. Because of course! Why trust a country that can’t decide if crypto is legal or not when you can just move your HQ to Singapore and sip piña coladas while your Indian users panic?

The global picture

Around the world, crypto exchanges have already paid more than $15.6 billion in fines and penalties over the past nine years. Enforcement is uneven – something highlighted in the report’s reference to “President Donald Trump’s recent pardon of Binance founder Changpeng Zhao after he pleaded guilty to money-laundering offences.” Because what’s a president if not a guy who loves crypto more than the law?

The Coin Laundry investigation shows how digital currencies have created a borderless financial space where illegal money moves faster than governments can react. Because of course! Why have borders when you can just send money to a wallet in a country that doesn’t exist and call it a day?

What happens next

India now finds itself facing the same question many countries are struggling with: how do you regulate a system that moves faster than the law? The coming months, particularly the Finance Ministry’s next steps on the discussion paper, will decide whether India brings stronger rules to the crypto space or continues dealing with laundering cases long after the money has vanished into wallets abroad. Because of course! Why fix a broken system when you can just keep pretending it’s not broken and hope no one notices?

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2025-11-18 13:48