Ah, dear readers, gather ’round! Behold the US Crypto News Morning Briefing-a spectacle of folly and fortune, where the wise whisper warnings and the foolish frolic with their funds! 🕵️♂️💸
Sip your coffee, for the crypto carnival is in full swing! Influential jesters-er, investors-wave their hands, crying, “Beware the fragile market, propped up by short-term tricks and ‘dumb money’ pouring into Bitcoin ETFs like lemmings to the sea!” 🌊🤡
Crypto News of the Day: Bitcoin ETFs, a Masquerade of Madness? 🎭
Lo, Alliance DAO’s QwQiao, a prophet of doom, proclaims on X (formerly Twitter) that the next crypto winter shall freeze even the hardiest of souls. In 2025, he says, a wave of greenhorns shall flood the market, only to be swept away in a torrent of tears. 😭💔
“…dumb money, who know less of crypto than a goose knows of geometry, buying DATs and ETFs!” quoth QwQiao, with a dramatic flourish. 📉🦢
A 50% drawdown, he foretells, shall cleanse the market of these hapless souls, who shall sell in panic, like chickens without heads. Only then, he claims, shall the Supercycle rise again, phoenix-like from the ashes. 🦅🔥
Behold, Bitcoin, once trading at $111,756, now languishes at $83,712-a 25% plunge! A full 50% drop would see it sink to $56,068. Oh, the humanity! 😱💸
Placeholder’s Chris Burniske, another soothsayer, warns that the sell-side storm from DAT investors has only just begun. “As we rose, so shall we fall,” he intones, as if channeling the ghosts of markets past. 👻📉
“Structural flows, not sentiment, shall dictate our fate,” he declares, with the gravity of a tragedian. 🏛️⚖️
The ETF Illusion: A Mirage in the Crypto Desert 🏜️
Analysts, those modern-day oracles, point to a grim truth: ETF inflows have been but a charade, a dance of arbitrageurs and hedge funds, not true believers. 🕺💼
BitMEX’s Arthur Hayes, a sage of sorts, reveals that BlackRock’s IBIT, the grandest of Bitcoin ETFs, is but a playground for arbitrage trades, not long-term conviction. “They are not long Bitcoin,” he scoffs. “They dabble for a few extra points, like children in a sandbox.” 🏖️🧒
“When the basis compresses, they flee, leaving Bitcoin to fall like a forgotten toy,” he adds, with a wink and a smirk. 🧸📉
A Market Reset: The Great Unwinding 🎡
Another tale from BeInCrypto tells of hedge funds unwinding their leveraged positions, selling off billions in BTC. These funds, it seems, were never true believers but mere yield farmers, sowing seeds of speculation. 🌾💰
Thus, QwQiao and Burniske sound their alarms, not for a mere correction, but for a great cleansing-a purge of leverage, inexperience, and arbitrage distortions. 🧹🚫
Chart of the Day 📊
Byte-Sized Alpha 🧠
Crypto Equities Pre-Market Overview 📉
| Company | At the Close of November 20 | Pre-Market Overview |
| Strategy (MSTR) | $177.13 | $170.20 (-4.03%) 😢 |
| Coinbase (COIN) | $238.16 | $234.56 (-1.52%) 😕 |
| Galaxy Digital Holdings (GLXY) | $24.03 | $23.12 (-3.79%) 😖 |
| MARA Holdings (MARA) | $10.24 | $9.88 (-3.52%) 😣 |
| Riot Platforms (RIOT) | $12.78 | $12.34 (-3.44%) 😞 |
| Core Scientific (CORZ) | $15.16 | $14.90 (-1.72%) 😑 |
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- When Bitcoin Takes a Tumble, Who’s Laughing Now? 🤷♀️
- XRP’s Little Dip: Oh, the Drama! 🎭
- 🤯 Ethereum Whale’s $26M Gamble: Will They Survive or Get Liquidated? 🚨
- ETH’s $2B Liquidation Drama: Will It Crash or Soar? 🚀💸
2025-11-21 13:53