In a twist that surprised approximately no one who’s been paying attention, Khurram Dara-formerly of Coinbase’s legal trenches-has declared his candidacy for New York’s top law-enforcement job. Presumably, he’s bringing a whiteboard labeled “CRYPTO REGULATIONS” to a gunfight. 🎯
In a press release that could’ve been scribbled on a napkin, Dara boasted about his “regulatory and policy experience, particularly in the crypto and fintech space.” Translation: he’s spent years elbow-deep in the crypto sausage factory and lived to tweet about it. đźŚ
Dara’s been hinting at this since August, accusing AG Letitia James of waging “lawfare” against the industry. Because nothing says “unity” like accusing your opponent of turning the justice system into a Marvel villain. 🦹♂️
Until recently, Dara moonlighted as a regulatory guru at Bain Capital Crypto, where he presumably tried to make “digital assets” sound less like a sci-fi MacGuffin. His LinkedIn résumé reads like a crypto Who’s Who: Coinbase, Fluidity, Airswap. At this rate, he’ll be the industry’s designated “nice lawyer” in the next Silicon Valley reboot. 🖥️
James, meanwhile, has been busy suing crypto firms like they’re piñatas at a New Yorker’s birthday party. Critics (read: crypto bros) call it overreach. Fans call it “basic adult supervision.” Either way, the next AG will decide whether New York’s financial district becomes a Wild West or a regulated Wild West. đź¤
Dara’s running as a Republican, piggybacking on Mayor-elect Mamdani’s “cost of living” angst. Because nothing bonds voters like mutual despair over rent. When asked for comment, Dara’s campaign replied with a suspiciously timed “???”. 🤷♀️
The Lawyer Who Represented XRP Holders Is Also Running (Again)
Meanwhile, in the land of eternal hope (and eternal underdogs), former Massachusetts Senate candidate John Deaton announced he’ll challenge Senator Ed Markey in 2026. Fresh off his 2024 loss to Elizabeth Warren-a defeat so lopsided it could’ve powered a wind farm-he’s back for more! 🎢
Deaton, crypto’s favorite legal cheerleader during the SEC vs. Ripple saga, now aims to unseat Markey. The odds? Let’s just say Massachusetts Republicans last won a Senate seat when flip phones were still cool. 📱
Both Dara and Deaton face the same uphill climb: convincing voters that crypto regulation is the hill they want to die on. Spoiler: It probably isn’t. But hey, at least the debates’ll be spicy. 🌶️
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2025-11-21 21:02