Hold onto your Bitcoin wallets, folks! Turns out, one-fifth of crypto firms might be more North Korean than a K-pop band on a diet! 🌍💣
- That’s right-up to 20% of these crypto companies are unknowingly hosting North Korean interns… I mean, hackers. Imagine the surprise when they find out! 🎭🤫
- And get this-30 to 40% of job applications are basically North Korea’s version of a rejected Tinder profile-trying to sneak in and swipe your secrets! 💼👀
- Oh, and over three billion dollars worth of crypto? Poof! Gone! That’s enough to fund North Korea’s nuclear karaoke nights, or whatever they do over there. 💥💰
Pablo Sabbatella, the hero with a keyboard, says this isn’t just a one-off episode-no, it’s practically a sitcom. He warns, “The problem’s bigger than your Aunt Edna’s bad cooking.” 🍲🕵️♂️
Meanwhile, inbound job applicants are pouring in like it’s Black Friday-except a third to nearly half are just North Korean spies trying to snag a job, or at least a VPN. They’re not here for a new crypto wallet; they’re here for your secret stash! 💼🔑
Escape from Sanctions: The Great Identity Heist! 🕵️♀️🎭
With sanctions tighter than Aunt Edna’s Spanx, North Koreans can’t exactly walk into job interviews with “Hi, I’m Kim Jong-un’s cousin.” So, they recruit global freeloaders-using Ukraine, the Philippines, or anyone with a Wi-Fi signal. 🌐🤳
These modern-day “company founders” split the loot-80/20, because nothing says teamwork like betrayal! The so-called “workers” get fake IDs, or they let North Korea borrow their LinkedIn for a bit. ✨🖥️
The scammers often pretend to be non-English speaking Chinese applicants-because why not? Gives a whole new meaning to “lost in translation.” Meanwhile, the malware spreads faster than gossip at a retirement home! 🚀🦠
And companies? They think they’re doing great-they never complain, and they rarely notice that their systems are now North Korea’s playground. Long-term employment? More like long-term espionage! 🕳️🔐
Crypto robberies-North Korea’s digital bank heist! 💸🔥
In just three years, North Korea has made off with over $3 billion in crypto, proving once again that they’re the Robin Hood of ransomware-except without the good intentions. 🏴☠️💰
All that loot? It goes straight into North Korea’s nuclear “Hey, look at us!” programs, which, honestly, sounds like the worst sequel ever. 🎬☢️
Sabbatella points out that the crypto industry’s security? Think a cardboard box with a string. Founders reveal more than their social security numbers, private keys are as safe as grandma’s secret cookie recipe, and manipulation? Child’s play! 🎲🤡
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2025-11-23 19:04