Markets React as Amazon Torrents $50B into AI Infrastructure – Who Knew Money Could Be So Exciting? 💸🤖

What to Know, or Pretend to Care About:
- Amazon, in a display of prodigious ambition, announced a dear little investment of fifty billion dollars, just enough to make one doubt one’s own modest savings, in AI and supercomputing infrastructure across the United States.
- The markets, in what can only be described as a remarkable turn, are rallying fiercely-Bitcoin has sensationally reclaimed the $87,000 mark, and the Nasdaq is exuberantly rising more than 2%.
- Bitcoin miners, apparently having reinvented their life’s purpose to include AI and high-performance computing, are now surging in double digits. Who saw that coming? Certainly not the poor sods who thought crypto was just about digital gold.
Last week’s dreadful tumble into the abyss-particularly within the crypto markets-is now being met with what might be considered a temporary “hooray” as investors cheer Amazon’s eccentric generosity of $50 billion in hopes of expanding AI and supercomputing for the U.S. government. Because nothing says stability like a random billion or two thrown at the future, right?
This bit of news has propelled the Nasdaq to a lively increase of 2.3% by noon on the East Coast, and the S&P 500 has followed suit with an ascent of 1.4%. Bless their eager hearts.
The buoyant attitude, rarely seen outside of a Regency ball, has evidently spread to the crypto realm, lifting Bitcoin back to the charming figure of $87,300-after swaggering dangerously near $80,000 on Friday. Still, it remains over 7% lower than its week’s start, like a hesitant debutante afraid of the spotlight.
The true stars of this spectacle are the bitcoin miners, who’ve evidently discovered the elixir of life in AI infrastructure and HPC. Cipher Mining (CIFR) has surged a charming 18%, with CleanSpark (CLSK) and IREN (IREN) both enjoying a modest 13%. Hut 8 (HUT) is also not to be outdone, rising 9%. What a scene!
Further merriment among the crypto aristocracy includes Coinbase (COIN), Galaxy Digital (GLXY), and Bullish (BLSH), boasting friendly advances of 4% to 5%. Truly, a delightful flourish in a world so often dull and predictable.
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2025-11-24 20:32