🌟 Phoebe Waller-Bridge Breaks Down Tether’s Eyeball-Drenching Drama! 🌟

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Picture this: Tether (USDT), the lovely giant who issues the world’s most stablecoin, is about to pull off what I can only describe as a financial marathon of Titanic proportions. They’re gearing up for a fundraising gala so massive, it’s set to headline at a glorious $20 billion – because, why not aim for the stars when gravity is but a mere suggestion? 🚀

Now, as our dear Tether keeps a tight ship sailing through the choppy US markets, they seem to be playing gatekeeper to outgoing investors who apparently thought their pocket money could get ‘e-rested’ if they sold at bargain-basement prices. Spoiler alert: Nope! They’re holding down the fort like a Bond girl in a hair bun. 🏰

Exclusive Gossip with the Big Boys

Word on the street – or rather, Bloomberg’s exclusive scoop – is that Tether’s been toying with ideas like share buybacks and, wait for it, tokenizing shares on a blockchain. It’s like putting a suit of armor on your company’s balance sheet! 🛡️ All this because a few investors might’ve thought “YOLO” and tried to cash out, risking the whole shebang. But who could blame them? Money’s irresistible. 😈

Lucky for Tether, they nixed at least one investor’s attempt to sell their stock, basically telling them, “Hold my cocktail, darling; you’re about to have an awkward chat with Wall Street’s finest.” Apparently, it’s all about being prudent, or whatever that means in the biz world? 🤷‍♀️

These masterminds keep the investors at bay, all the while trying to lure in “strategic” partnerships. And guess what they’ve been whispering about? Firms like SoftBank Group Corp. and Ark Investment Management LLC. Spoiler number two: IPO talk is as absent as my patience today. 🙌

Juventus Deal: Tether Strikes Vroom!

Meanwhile, Tether’s weaving their own divine comedy by dropping a cash bombshell to buy Exor’s stake in Juventus – oh, the drama! They hope to wrap up a deal for a cool 65.4 percent share of the darling Italian club, because why support a crumbling team when you can essentially buy a tangible dream? 🇮🇹⚽️

The deal hangs by a thread, contingent on Exor agreeing, papers getting signed, and the stamp of approval from whichever regulatory body is available. Tether’s also offering to buy any other shares at the same price. Spoiler number three: If you hear them shouting, “I AM YOUR NEW CULTURE CHOIR LEADER,” it’s because they’re not just investors; they’re maestros now. 🎶

Paolo Ardoino, Tether’s big kahuna, swoons over Juventus like it’s his high school sweetheart, spilling about commitment, resilience, and all that good stuff. And, oh boy, are they going all-out with an €1 billion pledge! Fasten your seatbelts for one heartwarming, strategic (read: unofficial) partnership of the year. 😍

Lastly, Ardoino declares, “Juventus isn’t just a team; it’s a cultural unicorn!” How very 21st century, reflecting on jerseys as cultural totems. Applause! 🎵

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2025-12-13 14:14