Jurrien Timmer of Fidelity Investments has declared 2026 a “year of hibernation” for Bitcoin, which is currently trading at $86,207-like a teenager refusing to clean their room. It’s been stuck below $90,000, probably plotting revenge on the stock market.
“Gold mooned while Bitcoin swooned”
Timmer once boldly claimed Bitcoin would outperform gold in the second half of 2025. Spoiler: Gold mooned Bitcoin so hard, it left a crater. 🌕 The digital coin? It’s been more “swoon” than “soar,” like a romantic comedy where the lead trips over their own feet.
card
Timmer says mean reversion isn’t happening soon, meaning Bitcoin’s trend of “meh” is sticking around. He’s basically telling investors, “Sit down, buckle up, and enjoy the nap.”
Has Bitcoin peaked? 😬
Timmer thinks Bitcoin’s $125,000 high in October 2025 was the party’s end. After 145 months of riding the bull train, he says history says “y’all, the ride’s over.” The math, he claims, is “inexorable.” Who knew numbers could be so brutally honest?
He predicts Bitcoin could crash to $65k-$75k, where it might find “support”-a crypto therapist, perhaps? Still, Timmer isn’t entirely grumpy: He loves Bitcoin long-term. Just not in 2026. Priorities, right?
Other crypto predictions 🤷♂️
While Fidelity’s Timmer is chilling with a pessimistic slouch, Bitwise is all-in on 2026. They claim ETFs and institutional love have killed the old “boom-bust” cycle. Their report says BTC will smash records next year. Meanwhile, Standard Chartered and Bernstein are cautiously optimistic but scaled back their hopes after October’s peak. And VanEck? They’re playing it cool, avoiding predictions like a toddler avoiding vegetables.
Read More
- Gold Rate Forecast
- Ripple Swoops in on Bitcoin’s Heels: 2030 Gold Rush
- BitMEX’s Great Crypto Pruning: 48 Contracts to Bite the Dust 🌡️🔥
- XRP’s Little Dip: Oh, the Drama! 🎭
- BTC Plummets: Fed Cuts Ignored in Crypto’s Absurdist Farce! 🤡💸
- When Bitcoin Takes a Tumble, Who’s Laughing Now? 🤷♀️
- Bullish Stock Soars 218% – Wall Street Finally Gets It (Or Is This a Joke?) 🐄💸
- Bitcoin’s Wild Ride: Will It Crash or Soar? Find Out Now! 🚀💰
- 📉DOW DOES THE FLAMINGO: 200-Point Faceplant on Red-Hot PPI Flambé!
- 🤯 Ethereum Whale’s $26M Gamble: Will They Survive or Get Liquidated? 🚨
2025-12-18 21:47