Bitcoin’s $85k ‘Support’ Is a Joke 🤡

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Bitcoin is at a “critical juncture”-which, in other words, means it’s about to crash again, but we’ll call it a “test” to sound fancy. You know, the kind of support that’s more like a “please don’t fall” level. What’s the deal with these psychological numbers anyway? It’s not like people actually care about $85k. 🤔

Descending Triangle Forms Near $85,000 Support

Crypto analysts are acting like they’ve discovered something groundbreaking. A “classic technical pattern”? Oh, great, another way to make you feel like a fool for holding. It’s basically a triangle that’s been waiting for Bitcoin to fall into it since the beginning of time. 🧠

And here’s the “Point of Control” – the most important price level since the invention of the “I told you so” moment. If Bitcoin breaks below, it’s not a “test,” it’s a “disaster.” But hey, at least the charts are “technical” now. 🤡

Exchange Activity Drops To Multi-Year Lows

Oh, look, Bitcoin investors are so “disinterested” they’re not even moving their coins. It’s like they’ve all collectively decided to take a nap. The metric is so low, it’s not even funny. 5,000? That’s less than a cup of coffee. 💸

What’s the deal with this “accumulation behavior”? Are we supposed to believe people are “confident” when they’re not even moving their coins? It’s like a party where no one shows up. 🎉

So, the data says “widespread skepticism” – which is just a fancy way of saying “no one cares.” If Bitcoin drops, it’s not a “crash,” it’s a “reality check.” But hey, at least it’s not a “bull run.” 🚪

Bitcoin’s at $87k, but it’s not like it’s doing anything. It’s like a car that’s stuck in neutral. 🚗💨

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2025-12-27 15:42