Crypto Crash: When Tariffs and Tantrums Tank the Market

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Well, butter my biscuit and call me confused-the crypto market has taken a nosedive so spectacular, it’d make a trapeze artist blush. On Monday, investors were fleeing the scene like it was a buffet with only kale, opting instead for the golden oldie: gold. Apparently, geopolitical shenanigans and macroeconomic jitters have everyone clutching their pearls and their bullion.

  • The crypto market briefly dipped below the $3 trillion mark, because nothing says “Monday” like losing a few trillion dollars.
  • Fears of a U.S.-Canada trade war and another U.S. government shutdown have investors hiding under their desks, sucking their thumbs.

According to crypto.news, the global crypto market took a 3% tumble, slipping below $3 trillion for the first time this year. That’s right, folks-fresh macroeconomic and geopolitical worries have investors spooked like a cat in a cucumber field.

The Crypto Fear and Greed Index? Oh, it’s at 20. That’s six days of “extreme fear,” which is basically the crypto equivalent of hiding in a bunker with a year’s supply of canned beans.

Bitcoin (BTC) dropped 3%, hitting an intraday low of $86,126 before steadying at $87,700. Ethereum (ETH) was down 3%, trading around $2,850. And let’s not forget the other big players-BNB, XRP, Solana, and Dogecoin-all in the red, losing between 1-4%. It’s like a crypto yard sale, but nobody’s buying.

CoinGlass reports that this slump triggered $605 million in liquidations of bullish bets in the last 24 hours. Bitcoin futures lost $179.8 million, and Ether-based futures shed $203.6 million. Ouch. That’s the sound of wallets crying.

Crypto Market in Panic After U.S. Threatens Tariffs on Canada

So, what’s behind this crypto calamity? Well, it turns out President Trump (yes, he’s still around) threatened a 100% tariff on all Canadian imports. Why? Because Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney dared to visit Beijing. Apparently, the U.S. doesn’t like its neighbors playing nice with China. Who knew trade wars were the new reality TV?

Investors are having flashbacks to the U.S.-China trade war of October last year, when Bitcoin took a nosedive after the Oct. 10 crash. Because nothing says “stable investment” like a market that reacts to tariffs like a toddler to broccoli.

Fear of Another U.S. Government Shutdown Grips Market

And just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, enter the specter of another U.S. government shutdown. Senate Democrats are threatening to block a $1.2 trillion funding package over Homeland Security reforms, thanks to protests in Minnesota following a fatal shooting involving federal agents. Because what the market really needs is more uncertainty.

Prediction markets like Kalshi and Polymarket are putting the odds of a shutdown at 76% and 80%, respectively. That’s higher than the chances of me finishing a jigsaw puzzle without losing my mind.

During the last shutdown, from October to November, Bitcoin fell 21% from its all-time high. And let’s not forget the Oct. 10 crypto market crash, triggered by Trump’s tariff threats on China. It’s like Groundhog Day, but with more financial ruin.

Meanwhile, gold is having a field day, breaking above $5,000 and gaining over 17% in 2026. Traders seem to prefer the shiny metal to volatile digital currencies. Who knew something you can hold in your hand would be more appealing than a string of code?

Bitcoin, on the other hand, is 30.4% below its record high of $126,080 from last October. So, if you’re feeling down about your own investments, just remember: at least you’re not a cryptocurrency right now.

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2026-01-26 12:04