Bitcoiners Roast the FT: Is It Time for a Financial Funeral?

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In a delightful spectacle befitting a circus, the cryptocurrency community has unleashed a veritable deluge of derision and defiance against the venerable Financial Times. This was sparked by an opinion piece, not just any diatribe, but one that boldly asserts Bitcoin is, in essence, as valuable as a soggy piece of toast.

Crafted with all the finesse of a blunt hammer by FT columnist Jemima Kelly, the article is aptly titled “Bitcoin is still about $70,000 too high,” a refrain that echoes through the halls of financial despair. The pièce de résistance? A theatrical comparison to a hapless protagonist from the French film La Haine, who, while hurtling from a skyscraper, finds solace in the mantra, “so far, so good,” blissfully unaware of the imminent splat. One can almost hear the collective gasp of Bitcoin enthusiasts-what a jolly metaphorical leap!

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The ‘bottom signal’

For those seasoned market navigators, the mere utterance of “Bitcoin is dead” by mainstream media is akin to a heralding trumpet announcing the arrival of spring-a bold contrarian indicator that perhaps, just perhaps, the bottom has been reached.

“NOW we can confidently declare that Bitcoin’s nadir has been achieved. When the outdated, incompetent, and oh-so-arrogant media start publishing such drivel… is when Bitcoin begins its celestial ascent,” one user quipped on X, their words dripping with sarcastic glee.

This sentiment found a harmonious echo among industry commentators. “The FT declaring Bitcoin dead? Oh, how bullish!” another chimed in, as if toasting the decline of traditional journalism with a glass of bubbly optimism.

Yet, not all reactions were drenched in mirth; some took a more visceral approach, aiming their barbs at the Financial Times’ waning influence in this digital epoch. User Bram Kanstein, with a wit sharper than a scalpel, mocked the publication’s apparent inability to fathom this asset class, cheerfully exclaiming, “Fading the most profound technological discovery of your industry, well done!!”

And then, there were the disbelievers, incredulous that such hardline skepticism persists in this brave new world of 2026. “I can’t believe people still write things like this,” they lamented, as if witnessing a relic from an ancient civilization stumble into modernity, confused and bemused.

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2026-02-08 22:51