Bitcoin’s Dance of Folly: A Tale of Greed, Panic, and the Absurd

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Ah, the enigmatic Bitcoin, that digital chimera, now lingers near the $65,000 mark on its weekly chart, as if caught in the web of a cosmic jest. The so-called “Doctor Profit,” a crypto oracle with a penchant for melodrama, warns that the market remains ensnared in the claws of a broader bear, a beast both relentless and absurd. In his “special Bitcoin report,” this modern-day Cassandra dissects the past, probes the present, and dares to foretell the future-a future as uncertain as a cat’s loyalty.

From the Heights of Euphoria to the Abyss of Despair

In an X post, dated February 22, Doctor Profit unveiled his six-stage tragicomedy of the bear market, a narrative as predictable as a bureaucrat’s speech yet as chaotic as a Moscow traffic jam. His framework, steeped in liquidity mechanics, leverage positioning, and the folly of human behavior, paints a portrait of greed and panic in equal measure.

Stage 1, he proclaims, saw Bitcoin ascend to the heavens, reaching $115,000 to $125,000 in 2025. Yet, even as the masses danced in euphoria, the market was overleveraged, a house of cards awaiting the slightest breeze. Sideways movements, sudden spikes-all illusions of strength, like a drunkard’s swagger. Latecomers, blinded by greed, believed risk had vanished, while predictions soared to ludicrous heights. Ah, the pinnacle of folly!

Then came Stage 2, when Bitcoin tumbled below the $100,000 threshold, a psychological blow akin to a slap from a wet fish. Short-term investors trembled, leveraged traders fled, and the October 10, 2025, flash crash became the crypto equivalent of a Bolshevik revolution-swift, brutal, and historically significant.

Stage 3, a veritable bloodbath, saw Bitcoin plunge from $97,000 in January 2026 to $47,000 in February, a 50% crash in mere weeks. Panic reigned, investors wailed, and half of Bitcoin’s market capitalization vanished like a bottle of vodka at a Russian wedding. Doctor Profit dubbed it a “violent mechanical repricing”-a phrase as cold and clinical as a Siberian winter.

The Present Purgatory and the Future Farce

Now, we find ourselves in Stage 4, a phase of dehydration, depression, and liquidity creation. The chart, with its sideways meanderings, resembles a drunkard’s path home. Less violent than its predecessor, this stage is nonetheless a grind, exhausting retail traders and trapping them like flies in amber. Doctor Profit predicts a short-term bounce between $57,000 and $60,000, a fleeting respite before the inevitable descent into Stage 5.

Ah, Stage 5, the “true capitulation phase,” where fear and panic reign supreme. A major player’s collapse? A black swan event? Who can say? Doctor Profit, ever the pessimist, revises his bottom projection to $35,000-$45,000, a level that would make even the most stoic investor weep into their borscht.

And finally, Stage 6, the denouement of this absurd drama. Sideways movement, structural recovery, and the slow accumulation of large players. Retail investors, ever greedy, will miss the bottom, buying high and selling low-a timeless farce repeated with clockwork precision. Such is the nature of the market, a mirror to our own folly.

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2026-02-24 01:02