You Won’t Believe What Bitcoin Did While Trump Went Full Drama

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Oil prices were already on the rise, because apparently the universe hates our wallets, when Bitcoin decided to do a little dance. Crude shot up to about $112 a barrel on Monday morning, thanks to the Middle East war and the Strait of Hormuz shutdown. And of course, some market guy had to pop up and say, “If this keeps up, US inflation might go up again.” Really? You think?

Oil Market Pressure Builds

Then Trump-yes, that guy-decided to add his own seasoning to the chaos. On Truth Social, he warned Iran they’d be “living in Hell” if the Strait of Hormuz doesn’t magically reopen. He even threw in a deadline, like a kid with a homework assignment, saying Tuesday or else: attacks on power plants and bridges. Charming.

But wait, there’s more! He also told Fox News that Iran was negotiating and that there’s a “good chance” of a deal in 24 hours. Axios later chimed in, saying the US, Iran, and some regional folks were talking about a 45-day ceasefire. A 45-day ceasefire! That’s like giving your roommate two weeks to clean their side of the apartment before you explode.

Market Jump Follows The Headlines

Crypto, of course, loves a little drama. The total market value shot up $70 billion-2.5%-to $2.38 trillion in early Monday trading. Bitcoin hit $69,870 on Coinbase, because apparently, numbers that high make sense in this economy. Meanwhile, traders who bet against it got crushed. CoinGlass reported $255 million in liquidations over 24 hours, 73% from shorts. It’s like watching someone trip over their own ego in slow motion.

The backdrop? Oh, just a war that’s been dragging on for over a month. And of course, Americans are paying an extra $240 million a day for gas. Every day! But hey, at least it keeps life interesting, right?

A Risky Week Ahead

Now, everyone’s watching that oil pressure like it’s a ticking time bomb. The Kobeissi Letter said inflation could hit 3.7% if oil stays at these insane levels for seven weeks. Seven weeks! That’s like a Netflix binge, except it costs you hundreds of millions daily.

Meanwhile, crypto is doing its usual “flip-flop on headlines” routine. Trump’s latest performance offered both a threat and a handshake, leaving traders scrambling to figure out a market reacting to war, energy prices, and a little thing called American politics. It’s chaos, people. Pure chaos.

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2026-04-06 19:12