Larry David on New Zealand’s Crypto ATM Ban: “What’s the Point of Money If You Can’t Launder It?”

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So, the New Zealand government has decided to ban crypto ATMs. Because, you know, what’s the point of money if you can’t launder it, right? 🤷‍♂️

New Zealand Says It’s Targeting Criminals, Not Legitimate Businesses

The New Zealand government, in a move that’s sure to make criminals cry, has announced a ban on crypto ATMs. Associate Justice Minister Nicole McKee, who I’m sure is just trying to make a name for herself, revealed the decision. This is part of a broader overhaul aimed at making it harder for criminals to convert their dirty cash into high-risk assets and move funds offshore. Because, you know, who needs a little extra cash in the Cayman Islands, am I right? 🏝️💰

McKee emphasized that the government’s focus is “targeting criminals, not tying up legitimate businesses in unnecessary red tape.” I mean, who needs red tape when you can just have a little chaos? This new approach seeks to strike a balance, delivering more clarity and consistency for businesses while maintaining a strong emphasis on preventing criminal misuse of the financial system. The ban on crypto ATMs is considered a key component of this strategy. Because, you know, who needs a little anonymity when you can just have a paper trail? 📄🔍

Authorities globally have increasingly identified these machines, which allow users to convert cash into cryptocurrencies and vice versa, as potential avenues for money laundering due to the anonymity they can offer. By removing them, New Zealand aims to close what authorities see as a loophole enabling criminals to obscure the origins of their illicit gains. Because, you know, what’s the point of a loophole if you can’t drive a truck through it? 🚚🚫

New Zealand’s Stricter Stance Compared to Australia

New Zealand’s drastic move surpasses steps taken by Australia, which has similarly voiced concerns over the proliferation of crypto ATMs. As reported by TopMob, the number of crypto ATMs in Australia grew from 23 in 2019 to more than 1,600 in 2025. This surge has prompted Australian regulators, including AUSTRAC, to crack down on ATM providers without the proper AML/CFT checks in place. Because, you know, what’s the point of a crackdown if you can’t make a few people sweat? 🧅💦

However, unlike New Zealand, Australian regulators have expressed a willingness to work with crypto ATM providers. Because, you know, what’s the point of a ban if you can’t just work it out over a nice cup of tea? 🍵🤝

Meanwhile, in addition to banning crypto ATMs, McKee’s government has also imposed an upper limit of $3,000 per transfer for international cash transfers. It has also agreed to bolster the power of regulators and the police. Because, you know, what’s the point of a police force if they can’t flex a little muscle? 💪💥

“Cabinet has agreed to introduce a bill to strengthen enforcement powers for Police and regulators to crack down on those involved in money laundering,” McKee stated. “It will also establish a new financial sanctions supervisory regime and initiate engagement on a sustainable levy to fund AML/CFT system improvements.” Because, you know, what’s the point of a levy if you can’t make a few people pay for it? 💸💸

The Justice Minister added that targeted consultation with industry and stakeholders will begin shortly to inform the new national strategy and levy framework. Because, you know, what’s the point of a consultation if you can’t just ask a few people what they think? 🤔👥

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2025-07-10 02:32