Ah, the great American dream! Where once we sought gold in rivers, now we chase pixels on screens. Telegram Messenger LLC, that bastion of encrypted whispers, and the TON Foundation, its shadowy accomplice, have deigned to bestow upon the hapless masses of the United States their integrated TON Wallet, beginning July 22. Behold, the self-custodial, multi-chain wallet—a digital fortress for the crypto-obsessed, nestled snugly within the Telegram app. What could possibly go wrong? 😇
The TON Wallet, a marvel of modern alchemy, allows its users to buy, sell, and trade the elusive cryptocurrencies—Bitcoin BTC ($118,307), Ethereum ETH ($3,758), Toncoin TON ($3.32), Tether USDT ($1.00), and, as the company so humbly boasts, “hundreds more.” All this, mind you, from the comfort of your Telegram app. Truly, we live in an age of miracles and madness. 🌪️
100 Million Souls and Counting: Telegram’s Wallet Marches On
Launched in the exotic lands of Asia and Europe in 2023, Telegram’s integrated wallet has already ensnared over 100 million users, according to the oracles at CryptoQuant. Yet, the United States, ever the cautious maiden, had until now resisted its charms due to the whims of regulators. But lo! The winds of change have blown, and the US government, in a rare moment of clarity, has relented. Andrew Rogozov, the Open Platform (TOP) CEO, proclaimed to CNBC that this regulatory breakthrough has finally allowed Telegram to unleash its wallet upon the app’s nearly 30 million US-based users. Or is it 87 million? Coinspeaker, alas, could not say. 🤷♂️
According to a triumphant post on X from the TON Wallet account, US users who embrace this digital leviathan will enjoy the same privileges as their global counterparts: sending crypto to friends in DMs (because nothing says friendship like a digital token), converting dollars to crypto with 0% fees (a bargain, surely), withdrawing funds directly to their credit or debit cards, and, the pièce de résistance, earning passive income by holding tokens in their TON Wallets. Capitalism, thy name is crypto. 💸
🇺🇸 BREAKING NEWS: TON Wallet is now live in the US!
Users in the United States can now access TON Wallet – right inside Telegram:
💱 Buy and trade USDT, TON and hundreds of other tokens 💬 Send crypto to friends in DMs 💵 Convert dollars to crypto with…
— TON Wallet (@tonwallet_tg) July 22, 2025
This grand unveiling follows other seismic shifts in the Telegram empire. As Coinspeaker reported on June 16, Justin Hyun, the former TON Foundation director, has birthed a new creation: Affluent, a DeFi platform that has launched its cryptocurrency investment app on Telegram as a mini-app. Features include crypto yields and lending—because why not add another layer of complexity to our already bewildering financial lives? 🌀
And so, dear reader, we stand at the precipice of a new era. Will Telegram’s crypto wallet be America’s salvation or its downfall? Only time will tell. But one thing is certain: the human heart, ever restless, will continue to seek its fortune, whether in gold, pixels, or the abyss. 🕳️
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2025-07-22 20:40