Wall Street Weeps as Bitcoin Forgets Your Calendar: ‘Up and to the Right’ Revealed!

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If you woke up this morning, checked Bitcoin, and briefly considered whether you should run away to a commune in Vermont, you’re not alone. Well, actually, you’re probably not much fun at parties either, but that’s another story. Bitcoin (BTC) shed 2% overnight, because apparently even computers enjoy a midlife crisis and a little bit of chaos with their coffee.

Matt Hougan: Destroyer of Crypto Religion

In a blazing missive on X (the platform formerly known as Twitter, for those who cling to the past), Matt Hougan, Bitwise’s CIO and perennial wet blanket at crypto sleepovers, hopped on to let everyone know: “You’re focusing on the wrong magic trick, folks.” According to Hougan, analysts and keyboard prophets who believe in the almighty four-year Bitcoin cycle should maybe—just maybe—try living in reality.

Instead of watching the four-year halving event like it’s the second coming, Hougan handed down his one true doctrine: the only cycle that matters is “up and to the right.” Growth! Things getting more expensive! That’s what makes us all feel better about ourselves, isn’t it?

Analysts have treated the four-year cycle like a family heirloom: first, there’s the halving, then the big party where Bitcoin hits some new all-time high, and after that, the collective hangover known as the bear market. It happened in 2013, 2017, and 2021. Like clockwork—if your clock was made by the same folks who programmed Windows 95.

The four-year cycle is not the most important pattern in bitcoin. The most important pattern is “up and to the right.”

— Matt Hougan (@Matt_Hougan) August 1, 2025

Hougan seems to suggest that Bitcoin’s secret isn’t when the party starts, it’s that eventually, everyone’s house gets a little bit fancier (assuming you don’t sell to buy a meme coin). In other words: think bigger. Maybe not ‘build-a-rocket-to-Mars’ bigger, but at least ‘stop checking trading view at 3 A.M.’ bigger.

Bitcoin vs. Gravity: The $115,000 Tightrope Walk 🤹‍♂️

Right now, Bitcoin trades at $115,457.58, which is 2.22% less than whatever it was before you started refreshing CoinMarketCap. The world reacts to things like trade tensions and U.S. inflation—remember when we only cared about what flavor vape Elon Musk was using? Me neither.

The $115,000 mark is the hot new thing—stand back and watch, like a toddler’s first steps, as bulls desperately try to keep Bitcoin’s ankles from wobbling. Underneath it all, the Federal Reserve lurks, adjusting rates and ruining everyone’s Monday.

If you’re waiting for the simple answer: “Will Bitcoin go up?” just remember Matt Hougan’s mantra—so long as the general direction is “up and to the right,” you can pretend to know what’s going on at the dinner table for at least another week. 📈

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2025-08-01 19:08