Oh, darling, Bitcoin’s been throwing a tantrum like a spoilt brat below $120,000—utterly *bored* of holding above $118,000 like it’s last season’s trend. But hush! Beneath the chaos, a *masterpiece* of technical artistry has emerged: the inverted head and shoulders pattern! Because nothing says “I’m serious” like a cryptocurrency mimicking a 1920s jazz-age dance move. Bravo, Merlijn The Trader, for spotting this *sartorial* chart triumph. 💸
A Technical Breakout So Bullish It’s Practically Winking 🐂✨
After peaking at $119,400 on July 28 (how *quaint*), Bitcoin promptly collapsed to $115,200 by August 1—because consistency is for accountants. But fear not! The crypto Cassius Clay of charts, Merlijn, insists we’re still headed to $145,000. The pattern? A *symphony* of bullishness! The neckline at $110k? Now a “support” so loyal it’s basically a golden retriever. 🐾
The chart—shared on *X*, that bastion of financial wisdom—shows a “classic” inverted head and shoulders. Because nothing whispers “trust me, I’m a pro” like referencing a pattern named after a yoga pose. The “head” dives deep between March and April 2025, flanked by shoulders lazier than a Sunday brunch. The breakout above $110k? So decisive, it’s practically *rude*. And the retest? A “bullish” flirtation, like a wink across a crowded room. 💭

Merlijn’s verdict? This pattern’s so textbook it could teach a seminar at Oxford. And if Bitcoin bounces off that neckline like a trampolinist on espresso, $145k awaits. Because technical analysis is just astrology for people who own hoodies. 🕺
ETFs: The Party Poopers of Crypto 🐻💔
But wait! The plot thickens like a Sunday roast. Despite the bullish fanfare, Bitcoin crumbled to $112k over the weekend. Why? A trifecta of doom: tariffs (always tariffs), profit-taking (how *bourgeois*), and ETF outflows that made August 1 feel like a Monday morning. $812 million vanished from Spot Bitcoin ETFs—goodbye, institutional love! 🚮
Now trading at $114,260 (up 0.8% because optimism is free), a leap to $145k would be a 27% gain. Because nothing says “sustainable” like a 27% moonshot. 🌕🚀

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2025-08-04 18:39