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Apparently, XLM is doing this whole symmetrical triangle thing. Honestly, charts are mostly just pretty lines people invent to justify their gut feelings, aren’t they? But, fine, the token’s inching towards a line, so… potentially exciting? Maybe? Don’t quit your day job.

As the wheels of bureaucracy turned with their usual sluggish indifference, the saga of Brian Quintenz unfolded in a manner that would have stirred even the somber spirit of Maxim Gorky. In the span of a mere week, the Senate Committee on Agriculture, Nutrition, and Forestry—guardians of our agricultural futures and overseers of the Commodity … Read more

The storm of market forces has left ETH traders grinning like Cheshire cats, despite a 7-month high that’s just a pebble in the crypto ocean. 🌊

Picture this: Ray Dalio, the man who probably has a crystal ball for finances, popped up on the July 27 episode of The Master Investor Podcast with Wilfred Frost. He was chatting about how to juggle your assets when debt’s running amok and currencies are pulling a vanishing act. Of course, he couldn’t resist gabbing about bitcoin, calling BTC a nifty hedge that’s strutting its stuff in today’s economic circus. 😂

So, here we are, folks. Pudgy Penguins [PENGU] tried to fly high, aiming for the $0.45 mark, but guess what? It got smacked down like a piñata at a kid’s birthday party. As of right now, Pudgy Penguins is trading at $0.42, which is a whopping 0.42% increase over the past 24 hours. 🎉

In a move that would make even the most stoic Wall Street analyst raise an eyebrow, Hyperion DeFi just added 1,535,772 HYPE tokens to its balance sheet at $36.14 apiece. This isn’t just a purchase—it’s a declaration of war against the concept of “average.” The company claims it’s a “strategic step,” which is Wall Street code for “we’re buying this because it’s trending and we’re terrified of missing out.”

Assessing matters on a monthly basis, our elusive friend, Pi Coin, has taken a rather depressing 15% tumble, while over the grand span of three months, the plight has deepened, clocking a staggering 23% drop. Bulls and bears have taken to a stalemate akin to a game of chess where both players have simply forgotten how to checkmate. But lo and behold, as the chips fall at the end of July, whispers of a potential shift bubble beneath the surface! 🎭

The Trump Administration has closed a trade deal with the European Union (EU), a partnership so vast it makes the Atlantic Ocean look like a puddle. After months of negotiations that felt more like a medieval siege, and a letter threatening the union with tariffs so steep they could make a mountain climber weep, Trump decided to settle for a modest 15% levy on European imports, excluding steel and aluminum, which remain under a 50% tariff regime. It’s a bit like offering a discount on a luxury car but only if you don’t want the wheels.

Stockholm’s coffee shops now host the next act, where neither side will “slap” new duties. A relief for corporations gasping under $700B in 2018’s “love letters” 📦💔. Meanwhile, Bitcoin, that incorrigible optimist, eyes $120K like a cat eyeing a laser dot. 🐱💸