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As if summoned by the spirits of the stock market, TRON generously bestowed upon us its Q2 2025 earnings report, like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat. Lo and behold! Market capitalization soared by 17% with a flourish, reaching a staggering $26.5 billion, all while revenue jumped a brisk 20.5% to $915.9 million—both accomplishments singing like a swan in a sea of mediocrity. And verily, this report hints at institutional interest swelling like a beloved soufflé, as TRON navigates the tempestuous waters of the crypto markets, where opinions are as varied as the hats at an aristocratic ball. 💃

Crypto sleuth and XRP cheerleader Ripple Van Winkle is ringin’ the dinner bell for investors, claimin’ the big show hasn’t even started yet—what we’ve seen is just a teaser, like a sneak peek at a bad melodrama. In his latest video rant on X, he lays out the gospel: heavy hitters like BlackRock, Fidelity, and PNC are sniffin’ around, especially with XRP ETFs gainin’ traction. Once the SEC gives the nod, these trillion-dollar behemoths might pile in, and oh boy, won’t that be a sight! Van Winkle swears the real price surge is baked right into the system, not some slow crawl, but a lightning bolt that could zap us all to kingdom come. ⚡😏

Sakharov told CryptoMoon that even a 20% flat tax won’t save Japan’s crypto scene. “The 55% tax is a slap on the wrist,” he said. “But the real pain? The FSA’s ‘pre-approval’ model. It’s like asking a toddler for a 10-page report on your startup. 😭”

He’s claiming that JPMorgan is blocking Gemini from essential banking services because he’s dared to criticize them. Could it be because he suggested that banks charging fintechs for access to customer data might bankrupt those very fintechs? Nah, that’s probably just coincidence. Or maybe JPMorgan just doesn’t like being called out on Twitter, which, let’s be honest, is *probably* the real reason.

While Bitcoin hogged the limelight—like the town drunk at a sheriff’s picnic—other lesser-known coin characters went screeching up the ranks. They were riding the hype train, fueled by folks dreaming of gold and glory, and a heap of new investor interest, folks with pockets deep enough to make a banker blush. If you’re fixin’ to find out which of these shiny fools are primed to explode next, reckon you’re in the right place.

In a world where fortunes rise and fall like leaves in autumn, Cathie Wood, CEO of ARK Invest, took to her vast audience of 1.8 million on X—formerly Twitter, that den of digital discourse—on this day, July 26, 2025, to lay bare the culprits behind the Ethereum unstaking frenzy. She attributes the madness to Robinhood’s tantalizing 2% deposit promo and the relentless greed of treasury companies and VC firms, who shift staked ETH like pawns in a high-stakes game. “As with other ventures,” she muses, exposing the underbelly of finance with a dash of irony. 😉

And lo, he proclaims that soon, DOGE may ascend, its price soaring to the lofty heights of $0.36, as if the cosmos itself conspires to lift this humble coin. But what is this ‘huge win’ but a mirage, a fleeting triumph of hope over despair? 🐕💸

But lo and behold! Just as the sun sank low, Bitcoin rallied! With the finesse of a valiant knight in slightly tarnished armor, it reclaimed a sturdy three grand, rising up from the depths like a stubborn old mule refusing to be left behind. Even the altcoins, those splendid rogues of the digital realm, decided to join in the revelry, as if they suddenly remembered the joy of growth, flashing green all about like Christmas lights in July.

What was once dismissed as a fool’s fancy now stirs with renewed life—courtesy of that elusive beast, regulatory clarity, and the creeping interest of institutional behemoths. Even the great whales of crypto have begun to hoard their treasures, moving with the stealth of shadows at dusk. 😂

Maple Finance’s [SYRUP], the darling of hype and hope, flirted flirtatiously with its all-time high—just shy at above $0.6. This manic ascent was fueled by Upbit’s announcement—an audacious move for a South Korean exchange to embrace this liquid gold.