Crypto Nostradamus Predicts Bitcoin’s Bullish Awakening—Grab Your Forks! 🍴🚀

According to the crypto analytics gurus over at Bitcoin Vector (yes, I too am baffled by how these platforms get named), they’ve taken to their social media roost on X to proclaim that BTC is in the “early stage of a full bull market.” Which, in layman’s terms, means it’s ready to party like it’s 1999 again—if only we could find that one great DJ! 🎧

SHIB’s on Fire, But Don’t Get Burned

But, you know, don’t get too excited. The Relative Strength Index (RSI) is screaming “overbought” at 78. That’s like, the market equivalent of your aunt yelling “slow down!” at a family gathering. 🙅‍♀️ Typically, this means a pullback or some sideways action is coming. You know, like when you eat too much at the buffet and need a nap.

Missed Pi2Day? Here’s the Drama and the New Toys 🌟

The blog posts gleefully announced that over 2.6 million Pioneers (the noble souls within the Pi Network) joined the Pi2Day Ecosystem Challenge, with 761,000 of them completing every step to earn this year’s limited-edition username badge and color. 🌈

Ethereum Hits $3,650 – Is This a Market Rally or Just a Bizarre Crypto Circus?

On a fine morning, July 18, around 6:30 AM UTC (when most people are either splendidly dreaming or perhaps just having their morning coffee), data from crypto.news revealed that our beloved Ethereum, the noble second-largest cryptocurrency by market cap, decided it was time for a dramatic rise. Capping its ascent at a dizzying $3,669, it is now trading at a nonchalant $3,651. The dollar signs are practically twinkling! 💸

Portnoy’s Painful XRP Exit: ‘I Could Have Made a Fortune!’ 😢

It was two weeks ago that this modern-day Cassandra, in his infinite wisdom, decided to abandon the very token he had once embraced. He sold it at the modest price of $2.4, driven to do so by a whispered rumor, a suggestion, no more, from an unnamed oracle—a fellow who warned Portnoy that the USDC issuer Circle would soon become a foe to XRP. Ah, the folly of men, trusting others more than their own judgment!

Tether’s USDT Defies Odds Amidst Regulatory Troubles: A Twain-esque Tale

Now, you might be wondering how this is possible. Well, let me tell you, folks! The market cap of this here USDT recently reached an all-time high of $160 billion, driven largely by soaring activity on the TRON (TRX) blockchain and growing demand from decentralized users across the globe. USDT’s supply on TRON has now topped $80 billion, surpassing the amount issued on Ethereum (ETH) by $6 billion, per an analysis published on July 18 by CryptoQuant contributor Darkfost.