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As we check the clock, BNB has changed hands at a meager $832, plummeting approximately 4% over the last day, continuing its downward spiral. Over the past week, it has treaded between $830 and $899, now sitting at a 4.3% loss for the week. A longer look reveals a more tragic tale-a decline of 8.4% in the last 30 days, still a staggering 39% beneath its October zenith of $1,369. Oh, the humanity! 😱

Coinbase has introduced a new product that could reshape crypto payment infrastructure for global brands. 🤯 The crypto exchange now allows businesses to create branded digital dollars backed by USDC. 🏦

The government shutdown made October CPI vanish like a magician’s rabbit. The Fed is now blindfolded, and markets are panicking like they misread a horoscope. Services prices? We’re all holding our breath-will they finally say “I DO” to disinflation? Goods prices? Let’s hope they don’t trigger a tax-fueled 💥.

On this fine December 18, 2025, Amber Premium FZE-Dubai’s sprightly arm of Amber International Holding Limited (yes, the ones with the Nasdaq ticker AMBR, how posh!)-trumpeted its joyous news: an in-principle approval (IPA) from Dubai’s very own Virtual Assets Regulatory Authority (VARA). Oh, the excitement! This approval, oh so splendidly issued in the glitzy UAE, nudges the firm ever closer to the holy grail of full authorization for virtual asset services. Can we get a round of applause? 👏

On the 17th of December, a mysterious address dumped 3M ASTER, losing $667K. What a way to ruin a party! 💸 Oh, the drama! 🎭

Behold, World Liberty Financial, backed by the illustrious Trump family (yes, those Trumps!), hath unveiled a governance proposal so bold, it doth make the quills of scribes quiver. Their aim? To employ the treasury’s riches to swell the ranks of USD1, that noble stablecoin. Lo, the crypto markets and governance chambers alike are abuzz with whispers and witticisms! 😏

Even with no hearings scheduled this week-because who needs deadlines?-industry reps and senators spent what was described as a “productive and collaborative” afternoon, a phrase that in Washington usually means everyone nodded politely and avoided eye contact during the real disagreements. The major players from Coinbase, Kraken, Chainlink, a16z, and Ripple? They were in the room, probably wondering if this was all a giant test to see how much time they could spend talking about tokens before someone accidentally blushes.

Seyffart agrees with Bitwise (another impressively named firm) that the ETF floodgates will open, but thinks the public will rapidly realise they possibly, maybe, didn’t need an ETF tracking, oh I don’t know, the price of unicorn farts, or whatever the latest crypto obsession is. There are currently 126 applications with the SEC just waiting to be rubber-stamped. It’s like they’re just… throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks. Which, let’s be honest, is generally how I approach online dating. 🙄

now serving

The former rule, seemingly constructed upon a foundation of excessive caution, decreed that uninsured banks should be held to the very same standards as their federally insured brethren. A most sensible notion, one would think, preventing – or attempting to prevent – the more precarious institutions from dabbling in ventures fraught with, shall we say, uncertainty.