Ripple’s July Surprise: 500 Million XRP Unlocked, But Who’s Counting?

So here we are, a billion XRP unfurled into the wild, and 700 million snugly back in re-lockdown, like a kid sneaking back into the candy jar. Whale Alert, that ever-watchful giant of the sea—or is it the blockchain?—made sure we all caught wind of this little escapade, and XRPwallets chimed in like an eager chorus in a barnyard singalong. The July cycle? Closed, they declared, as if the shop door had been bolted behind them.

Bitcoin’s Prophet of Doom for the US Dollar

Kiyosaki, that great Cassandra of the crypto world, has long prophesied that Bitcoin shall reach the dizzying heights of $1 million per coin in the 2030s. And, like a modern-day Jeremiah, he rails against the folly of those who would entrust their life savings to the tender mercies of the US dollar.

Zelenskyy’s Not-So-Simple Suit Sparks $79M Betting Bedlam—Who Wore It Best?

An enterprising speculator—a hungry soul who, perhaps, might have spent his energies better in a potato field—established a market upon this very question. Victory would be determined, not by gun or ballot, but by the cold, unfeeling evidence of photo or video: Was Zelenskyy in a suit, yes or no, from May 22 to June 30? By some fevered miracle of modern civilization, humanity wagered close to $79 million upon this pressing mystery. Initially, the verdict came: Yes, Zelenskyy wore The Suit. Cue celebratory vodka shots. But, as any Russian will tell you, consensus is but a shadow: the outcome was soon contested, and the squabbling persists in endless, bureaucratic splendor. 🍸🪖