
An enterprising speculator—a hungry soul who, perhaps, might have spent his energies better in a potato field—established a market upon this very question. Victory would be determined, not by gun or ballot, but by the cold, unfeeling evidence of photo or video: Was Zelenskyy in a suit, yes or no, from May 22 to June 30? By some fevered miracle of modern civilization, humanity wagered close to $79 million upon this pressing mystery. Initially, the verdict came: Yes, Zelenskyy wore The Suit. Cue celebratory vodka shots. But, as any Russian will tell you, consensus is but a shadow: the outcome was soon contested, and the squabbling persists in endless, bureaucratic splendor. 🍸🪖