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Satoshi-era wallets, usually as lively as last season’s fruitcake, have suddenly started moving coins and sending Twitter into full tinfoil-hat mode. Meanwhile, in Brazil, hackers decided that regular money-laundering was for amateurs, so they used crypto to rinse their ill-gotten gains, thus inventing “pro-level laundering.” And FTX, always up for a dramatic court appearance worthy of its own soap opera, is now begging the authorities to let them hand out assets to people in countries they usually try not to mention at parties. 🍾

Legendary market sage Daan Crypto, star of X (formerly known as Twitter but not at all “formerly” in terms of drama), bequeathed to mere mortals an X post on July 5. Waxing apocalyptic, he unveiled the sacred glyphs of liquidity, sourced from the oracle Coinglass. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth after a swath of leveraged positions was wiped out at $108,000—likely because traders thought “leverage” is just another word for “putting all your chips on red and hoping the roulette table likes you.”

But, alas, dear friends, this golden ticket cometh not without a price. Participants must stake a sum of 100,000 TON for a period of three years, and pay a one-time processing fee of $35,000. 💸 A small price to pay, indeed, for the privilege of residing in the land of gold and sunshine. And, as an added bonus, the process promiseth swift approval, with visas issued in under seven weeks! ⏱️

However, this period of price stagnation has presented a buying opportunity for long-term holders (LTHs), who are taking full advantage, much like a second cousin at a buffet. 🍽️

PI’s Accumulation/Distribution (A/D) Line has been on a nosedive over the past two weeks, which is like watching a sad puppy get rained on. As of this writing, the metric is at -300.73 million, down 82% since June 25. Talk about a confidence crisis! 😢

So, Conor Grogan, who works at Coinbase (fancy, right?), thinks the sudden awakening of $8 billion worth of Bitcoin BTC) could be due to a hack. 🎩

A certain Ali Martinez—who, by what I can tell, spends his days wrangling charts instead of cattle—says DOGE is still sitting pretty if the bulls don’t fall asleep at the wheel. This here Martinez fellow hopped on his soapbox July 5 over on X (which, if you ask me, sounds like a name for a bar in a ghost town), reminding folks that so long as DOGE hangs on above the $0.150 fence line, there’s hope yet. Seems there’s a trend line older than some riverboats, stretching way back into 2023, and every time DOGE boots up against it, it gets downright stubborn about going any lower.

In an X post on July 4, popular market analyst Burak Kesmeci shares an interesting insight on the Ethereum market. Using data from Tradingview, Kesmeci observes ETH has held an MVRV value between 1.20-1.25, indicating a strong market uncertainty despite investors retaining a modest profit.

As the name suggests, the MVRV (Market Value to Realized Value) ratio compares an asset’s current market value (MV) to its realized value (RV), which reflects the average price at which the asset was last moved on-chain. It is a key indicator used to assess whether an asset is overvalued or undervalued. An MVRV >1 indicates that investors are in profit, holding unrealized gains indicating significant potential for profit taking, while an MVRV <1 suggests investors are at a loss presenting a good time for accumulation as the asset is undervalued.

The vote, which is in the project governance forum, aims to get the approval of the WLFI token holders to allow them to trade tokens outside of the closed ecosystem of the platform. In the event that this change is approved, it would enable investors to sell or trade their tokens in secondary markets that could, in turn, enhance liquidity and price discovery.

Whale accumulation and social media engagement also contributed to the bullishness behind the token.