qfx

ABTC ended the day in a sorry state, down 38.83%, settling at $2.19. However, the resilient (or perhaps delusional) investors managed to push it up by 10.96% in after-hours trading on December 3rd. It’s like watching someone trip and then awkwardly stumble back up – the effort is there, but the damage has already been done.

And just when you thought they couldn’t get any more overachieving, CleanSpark expanded its contracted power capacity by 11%, hitting more than 1.4 gigawatts. This is a fancy way of saying they can now mine even more Bitcoin, probably using their very own nuclear-powered Bitcoin machines. Not really, but you get the idea.

According to a press release so thrilling it could make a rock weep, Firelight’s “on-chain economic security primitive” will protect your assets from exploits. Which, honestly, is the only thing we’re all worried about. 🧠💥

But here’s the juicy bit: institutions suddenly decided to throw money around like they just discovered retail therapy. And honestly? The enthusiasm is… unsettling. In a “someone’s definitely had too much caffeine” kind of way.

In a Twitter post-because where else would one find the voice of reason-Severino proclaims that Bitcoin has a peculiar fondness for retracing its steps, especially to the subwave 3/4 of wave 3/4 of some impulse or other. The chart he parades around looks like a child’s crayon drawing, with a bold forecast: BTC might nose-dive to $42,000 early next year, like a drunken bird attempting flight but falling flat. All the while, the macro universe bounces serenely above, with the Federal Reserve playing poker with interest rates, almost certainly planning to cut again (because why not create chaos?).

Bitcoin, after enduring a tempest of panic selling and long-position liquidations, hath found its footing once more. The recent cessation of such frantic activity hath allowed the coin to recover with such vigor that its market capitalization hath swelled by a staggering 75 billion dollars in naught but ten hours. One might liken it to a gentleman regaining his composure after a particularly spirited duel.

For years, Vanguard was that grumpy old man on the porch, shouting at clouds, insisting that Bitcoin was a bad idea. But now? Well, now they’re in the game. And it matters. Because when a $9+ trillion retirement giant decides to let people put $BTC in their 401(k)s, things get real. So real, in fact, that Bitcoin rallied back to $92K from a dismal dip below $86K on Tuesday. It’s like watching your awkward cousin suddenly become the prom king.

According to SoSoValue (a name that screams reliability), the 12 spot Bitcoin ETFs logged $58.5 million in net inflows on Dec. 2. BlackRock’s IBIT, ever the showman, drew in $120.1 million, while Fidelity’s FBTC and Biwise’s BITB trailed with $21.8 million and $7.4 million, respectively. ARK 21Shares’ ARKB, the rebellious one, offset this with an outflow of $90.4 million. The rest? Mere spectators, with zero flows on the day. 🍿

The Property (Digital Assets etc) Bill has been given royal assent, which is basically the U.K.’s way of saying, “The King has nodded, so it’s official.” Lord Speaker John McFall confirmed this at the House of Lords on Tuesday, presumably while sipping tea and wondering if he should invest in Dogecoin. 🫖

Bloomberg’s own financial prophet, Eric Balchunas, gave us some juicy insight into the SEC’s thinking. Apparently, they think some firms were trying to slip under the radar of Rule 18f-4, a regulation designed to prevent excessive leverage. It’s a simple rule, really: “We’ll let you get as far as 2x leverage, but anything more? You’ll need special permission.” And these 3x and 5x dreams? Yeah, not so much. Time to rethink, folks.