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A fellow calling himself KriptoCenneti – a name which, frankly, sounds like a particularly unpleasant Turkish delight – has observed that Bitcoin’s ‘Funding Rate’ (whatever that is) remains stubbornly positive. Apparently, even as the price has tumbled from an almost immodest height of over $110,000 to a distinctly less impressive $96,000, these ‘funding rates’ have held firm between 0.003% and 0.008%. A curious situation, wouldn’t you agree? It seems our speculators are rather determined to remain long, regardless of the rather obvious trajectory.

The crypto market’s long-term outlook? Stronger than my coffee after a 3 AM rewrite. Despite October and November’s “plot twist” (prices tanked, investors cried into their avocado toast), Horsley-CEO of Bitwise, aka the grown-ups in the room-remains weirdly optimistic. 🚀

Rising demand for resilient digital-asset infrastructure is accelerating a global shift toward tokenized finance, creating urgency for standards that can support cross-border scale and credible settlement. Monetary Authority of Singapore (MAS) Managing Director Chia Der Jiun shared on Nov. 13, 2025 at the Singapore Fintech Festival 2025 that stablecoins and interoperable tokenization frameworks are central to this next phase. 🕵️‍♂️

Behold, the market, with its eternal penchant for repetition, presents us with a spectacle as ancient as the stars themselves. Bitcoin, ever the prima donna, retraces her steps to the tune of 61.8%, a number so divine it could only be the work of Daedalus himself. 🕰️🔮

If the “inverted heads-and-shoulders” pattern held (which sounds like a yoga pose a bro tried to sell me for $999), HNT could revert. Let’s hope the “structural outlook” doesn’t just mean “we’re making this up as we go.” 🏗️🏗️

The initiative, born from the collaborative genius of Commissioner Hester Peirce and the Crypto Task Force, aims to untangle the web of digital assets with the precision of a toddler with a crayon. Spoiler: it’s not going to be pretty. 🤯

The crypto economy, my loves, has ended the week in the red-a shade I reserve only for my most dramatic evening gowns. Losing $280 billion, it brought the total market capitalization to just under $3.3 trillion. The downturn, a continuation of last week’s farce, saw Bitcoin ( BTC) fall below the $100,000 mark for the first time in months. How quaint! 🥂💔

Ah, the CME gap! That accursed chasm which draws traders like moths to a flame-or perhaps to a guillotine. “Bitcoin shall fill this gap before any salvation,” intones Ted, the prophet of pillows and charts, as if uttering a prophecy from the depths of a Dostoevskian fever dream. 📉 But what is a gap, if not a mirage conjured by the market’s own madness? 🕳️