qfx The lawsuit, filed under case number 1:26-cv-03659 in the US District Court for the Northern District of Illinois, doesn’t just go after the state like a rogue vigilante. It brings in Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker, Attorney General Kwame Raoul, and five officials from the Illinois Gaming Board (IGB) as defendants. The whole squad is in the crosshairs.
Elliptic chimed in on Thursday, declaring the Drift Protocol exploit-the largest this year, don’t you know-to be a likely DPRK operation. “Multiple indicators,” they said, with all the gravitas of Jeeves announcing breakfast.
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Permit me to inform you, dear reader, that Coinbase, Stripe, and Cloudflare have joined forces with the x402 Foundation to devise a payment standard so refined, it may yet cause the Post Office to reconsider its relevance. This grand endeavor seeks to enable applications and AI systems to transact funds online without the tedious intervention of humans-a feat as miraculous as a woman securing a husband without a single sigh.
A credibility win in traditional finance, they say, though one might wonder if “traditional” and “Ripple” belong in the same sentence like two mismatched horses in a harness. CEO Brad Garlinghouse, ever the optimist, recently declared Ripple Prime’s post-acquisition progress “stellar,” which is finance-speak for “we haven’t burned all the money yet.”
The contenders for its throne? A motley crew of digital alchemists, but Monero, with its $6 billion, strolls closer, grinning like a peasant who just won a lottery ticket. Yet, to claim the 13th spot, our XMR hero must conjure $2.5 billion from thin air-no small feat in a world where even the moon’s reflection in a puddle is taxed.
On the daily chart, bitcoin is consolidating inside a longer-term downtrend. Price has failed to reclaim resistance near $69,000 and remains below the levels that would need to change for buyers to shift the trend. A tale of despair, where every recovery is but a fleeting sigh.
Analyst Amr Taha, who spends his days staring at charts until they confess their secrets, reports that Ethereum purchases on Binance are climbing faster than a troll up a greasy pole, while the urge to sell seems to have taken a nap. This dramatic shift is clearly visible in ETH reserve data, which apparently talks louder than most investors.
Guess who’s stealing the spotlight? Stellar (XLM) is now the fourth most popular kid in the Github cafeteria, with $1.4 billion in assets. Franklin Templeton is basically the head cheerleader, holding $651 million. XRP? Still stuck in the corner with its $458 million, muttering about stablecoins. Jed McCaleb’s ex-projects are having a moment. #Awkward
Now, the big question: Is this a sustainable climb or a one-way ticket to the moon? Spoiler: It’s probably the latter. But hey, if you’re not sweating, you’re not investing right.
