qfx As the CryptoMoon reported, TON announced on Saturday that one could secure a 10-year UAE Golden Visa by staking at least $100,000 worth of Toncoin (TON) for three years and paying a modest $35,000 processing fee. A mere seven weeks, and voilà, residency in the land of the sun and sand!
The market was abuzz with hype, and capital rotation into these joke coins was the name of the game. It’s like the crypto world was one big, crazy party, and everyone was invited! 🎉
By the year 2025, the entanglement between the dollar and the crypto-markets has reached Tolstoyan complexity. Yes, Bitcoin stands poised to breach yet another record, but let’s not ascribe this solely to some celestial favor—no, it is the weakening of the venerable dollar itself, causing investors to peer suspiciously at fiat like a Russian noble surveying a tapestry for moths.
Source – X (not, regrettably, a Bond villain—just Twitter)
Pseudonymous analyst Pentoshi, with a following of 868,800 on the social media platform X, foresees a rally in the crypto markets this month, fueled by a series of bullish catalysts. 🚀
The value of Ethereum (ETH) has *graciously* risen by 1.66% since yesterday. And, in a rather stunning display of what one might call “positive momentum,” over the last week, the price has risen by a very respectable 4.78%. Truly, *such a triumph* for this digital asset!
As he raps, “I look at this shit like a BTC, could be down this week, then I’m up next week,” one can’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all 😂. And yet, this line speaks to a larger truth: Bitcoin’s wild swings have become a cultural phenomenon, transcending the realm of finance blogs and entering the zeitgeist.
The price of Cardano (ADA) has gone up by 2.32% over the last 24 hours. 🎉🎉
“Wall Street is coming for bitcoin.” That phrase used to spark both hope and fear across crypto circles. Today, it’s just a plain ol’ fact. 🤷♂️
Satoshi-era wallets, usually as lively as last season’s fruitcake, have suddenly started moving coins and sending Twitter into full tinfoil-hat mode. Meanwhile, in Brazil, hackers decided that regular money-laundering was for amateurs, so they used crypto to rinse their ill-gotten gains, thus inventing “pro-level laundering.” And FTX, always up for a dramatic court appearance worthy of its own soap opera, is now begging the authorities to let them hand out assets to people in countries they usually try not to mention at parties. 🍾
