Bitcoin’s Wild Ride! 📉

By 5:00 am, Greenwich mean time, or whenever folks start makin’ coffee, Japan’s Nikkei was down a good 1.73%, sittin’ at 50,392. South Korea? They weren’t farin’ much better, KOSPI droppin’ 3% to 4,045.44. Hong Kong’s Hang Seng took a sip of trouble too, down 1.13% at 26,767. Even Australia’s S&P/ASX, usually a sturdy one, lost 1.44%, endin’ up at 8,627.5. Seems nobody wanted to play today. 😔

Kalshi Partners with Coinbase to Secure USDC Reserves, Expanding Event-Based Trading

On November 13, Kalshi made it official: Coinbase Custody is now the keeper of their USDC reserves. The company says this move will bolster traders’ confidence by ensuring the safety and stability of the funds backing each market. And by “stability,” they mean cold storage, segregated accounts, and those oh-so-precious compliance standards used by the big boys of finance. Talk about playing it safe… 🛡️

The Descent of PENGU: A Tragic Tale of Market Forces and Human Greed 🐧💸

Among the merry band of memecoins, PENGU stands as the black sheep of a blackened flock. While DOGE and PEPE prance about with the gaudy grace of carnival clowns, our penguin plummets like a stone in a well of shame. Jesse Peralta’s chart, a modern-day Da Vinci of despair, lays bare the truth: PENGU lies at the bottom of the heap, a fallen prince of the meme realm. One might almost pity the poor creature-if it weren’t so absurdly expensive to own. 🐧💔

16 Blockchains That Can Freeze Your Crypto! Find Out Which Ones – Bybit Reveals Shocking Report

In a stunning press release, Bybit has laid bare a list of blockchains that can freeze your funds faster than you can say “decentralization!” Their new study dives into this alarming feature, and spoiler alert: they didn’t find just one or two. Oh no, they uncovered 16 blockchain networks with freezing powers-AND, 19 others that might soon join the “freeze team” in the future. Brrr! ❄️

BMNR: Bullish or Just a Crypto Farce? 🎭💰

Pray tell, as BitMine doth mine Bitcoin and hold Ethereum, it danceth like a high-beta courtier, ever dramatic in its swings. With Bitcoin whispering of a bottom and Ethereum steadying its wobbly legs, BMNR standeth at a precipice-one breakout away from resuming its grand charade of a trend. 🕺

Visa Ditches Banks for Stablecoins: Instant Pay for Creators and Gig Workers

In a move that is somehow both predictable and still a little bizarre, Visa’s pilot program lets businesses send payouts in fiat, and, oh, the recipient will get those funds in USDC (a nice, stable stablecoin) in their crypto wallet. So… it’s like getting paid in dollars, but cooler. Also, let’s not forget that some regulations will need to be followed, like the whole KYC (Know Your Customer) thing. Because of course. 🤔

Dogecoin’s 5% Meltdown: Will It Recover? 🐕💸

Dogecoin suffered a sharp 5.5% decline on Tuesday, declining between $0.1831 and $0.1730 in European trading.  The fall closed under the crucial support of 0.1720 on rising volume, with a volume of 500.6 million tokens, -77 percent above the daily average. 📉