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SHIB price is now down a heartbreaking 13.23% over the past week thanks to some digital panic selling. But hold on to your leashes—it is up slightly (1.05%) today to a measly $0.000012. Because who doesn’t love a micro-upgrade?

According to the wise sages at Lookonchain, our dear Hayes also parted ways with 2,373 ETH and 7.76 million ENA. The aftermath? PEPE’s price took a nosedive, plummeting 4% within a mere 24 hours. But fear not, for the token found a cozy little spot just above the all-important $0.000010 level. A true survivor, wouldn’t you say?

Basically, Bitcoin’s had a tougher month than a New York City winter. It shot up to $125,000, and everyone was like, “Look at me! I’m rich!” Then, as if on cue, the crashes started—profit-taking, market weakness, the usual. Now it’s spinning its wheels below $114,000—trying to get back but just keeps bumping into resistance like a bad date. The 30-minute chart looks like a kid trying to break out of a disagreement—lots of failed attempts. 🥴

The market’s closing the week with a candle as red as Bertie Wooster’s face after a run-in with Aunt Agatha, wiping out nearly a month of steady gains. It’s all rather deleveraging, what? 💼🔥

Apparently, the Salvadoran National Assembly thought, “Why stop at one term when you can have… well, ALL of them?” In a move that screams “dictator-in-training,” they’ve now allowed presidential candidates to run for reelection indefinitely. Oh, and they bumped the presidential term from five years to six. Because why not? 🥳

And lo, the altcoins, those supporting actors of the crypto stage, doth waffle in indecision. ETH, once proud, now shies away from $3,500, while SOL teeters on the brink of $160. Alas, the plot thickens! 🧐

This article is from Theminermag, a trade publication for the cryptocurrency mining industry, focusing on the latest news and research on institutional bitcoin mining companies. 🧠💸

Yes, dear reader, while Bitcoin strutted around like a proud peacock, SharpLink snuck behind the curtains—grabbing Ethereum like a bandit—signaling an ominous shift. The so-called “analysts” (ah, those wise fools) whisper that this could be a turning point. Ethereum, once a mere sidekick to Bitcoin’s throne, might soon be the real boss in the corporate treasury game. And why not? DeFi, real-world assets—it’s like Ethereum suddenly woke up looking handsome and useful. Investors eagerly watch this new drama unfold, popcorn in hand.

It didn’t just stop at snacks! ETH pioneered smart contracts — those magical digital IOUs that do stuff without a boss watching over your shoulder — and sparked a wildfire of layer-2 chains and Web3 craziness. Think of it as the digital Las Vegas with less gambling and more code, baby! 🎰💻

Acting Chairman Caroline D. Pham, a woman of decisive action and questionable life choices, announced on August 1st that the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) would embark on a “crypto sprint,” a term that sounds suspiciously like a toddler’s tantrum but is, in fact, a plan to follow the President’s Working Group’s report. Speaking from the belly of Washington’s bureaucratic beast, Pham declared the CFTC’s intent to “coordinate” with other agencies to build a “structured foundation” for crypto innovation. Because nothing says “structured foundation” like a committee meeting. 🚨🏛️