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In the latest spectacle, Dogwifhat (WIF) is prancing around at $1.04 after an impressive 17% surge in the last 24 hours-yes, you read that right, 17%. It’s like a surprise plot twist nobody saw coming. Over the week, it’s up 20%. Trading volume for the last day? A cool $401.3 million, because why not?
Ethereum’s market pitch just got upgraded from a confusing puzzle to a clear mainline-finally. Before, explaining ETH to the traditional crowd was like trying to teach a cat to dance, but now, they see it as the core wiring of future finance. Fancy that! 🧠💥
On the 13th of August, Ethereum (ETH) flirted with a new all-time high, much to the delight of Standard Chartered analysts who revised their forecast upwards. The bank’s digital assets research team, led by the sagacious Geoff Kendrick, now envisions Ethereum reaching $7,500 by year-end, a significant leap from the previously estimated $4,000.
In a delightful tête-à-tête on CNBC Television, the former president of the NYSE, the venerable Tom Farley, waxes poetic about how the crypto industry has flourished over the past decade, thanks to our beloved retail traders. But lo and behold! A shift is afoot, as the institutional investors now wish to take center stage! 🎭
Bitcoin’s bulls, those darlings of excess, are chasing the elusive $123,218, as if it were the last waltz of the season. 🕺💸
Oh, and here’s the cherry on top: Darkfost, that ever-dramatic top analyst, points to some juicy data from DefiLlama (not the name of your new favorite llama-themed NFT project, sadly). Turns out Solana’s total value locked (TVL) in SOL has hit a multi-year high, all thanks to more tokens getting locked in lending, staking, and liquidity pools. Apparently, people are starting to trust the network again, which is quite the turn of events. It’s like finding out that your 12-year-old’s DIY lemonade stand actually made a profit this year.
Now, Aquanow is a digital asset provider from Canada, eh? And they’ve managed to buddy up with SGB, a digital bank sanctioned by, hold onto your monocles, the Central Bank of Bahrain! That’s right, folks! Together, they’re opening the door to fiat banking services for fancy institutions and big-time enterprises strutting their stuff in the digital asset world! Ta-da!
On a Wednesday of dubious sanctity-August the Thirteenth-this carnival of numbers added yet another zero, inflating by ten percent in a week.
Reason? Ah, the Fed might cut rates (94% odds on Polymarket, 87% on the CME, 100% in every moonboi’s dreams).
Inflation cooled to 2.7%, like a lukewarm confession heard after midnight mass.
U.S. tariffs on our celestial Middle Kingdom delayed ninety days; investors exhaled in unison, their sigh scented with hopium and Panda Express. 🐼
Meanwhile, Bitcoin flirted with $120K again-just a casual 3% shy of its July records. Looks like consolidation, or maybe Bitcoin just trying to look modest before skyrocketing again. And hey, that’s good news for Bitcoin Hyper ($HYPER), because why not ride the wave to the moon?
